Apartment #203 [O]

[Deleted]

[OOC: Even though this thread is Open, it's, you know, an apartment. Try to have a good reason for entering haha]

[/b] I laughed nervously, before grimacing and unlocking the door with the key I had reacquired at the front desk. I breathed out in time with pushing the door open, revealing the room beyond.

I had a slew of excuses prepared for its presumed state of untidiness, but to my surprise, I found the place looking more respectable than ever. "The f-..." I was about to say, but I stopped myself short. I figured the place had been cleaned in my absence, and possibly in anticipation of my arrival. Aww. That was nice.

My bedroom was accessible via a door a little ways off to the immediate left, but in the main room along the left wall was a simple couple-meters-at-best kitchen area, a small but reasonably comfortable couch opposite it and a table with two chairs up towards the north-facing window. A door further up the left lead to the tiny bathroom. It was a pretty bland little abode, bit of black with a lot of white, but it was spacious enough to hold maybe four people reasonably before shit would get cramped. There weren't all that many indicators of it being mine, either, especially since it had been cleaned up to the point where it sort of looked like nobody had entered before. My more personal belongings were stored in my bedroom. Not that there were many.

I remembered when I had first arrived here when I was like twelve. It had seemed so large then. Now it looked pretty fucking tiny.

I crossed the threshold, squeezing through with my giant shield and all the other heavy shit I was carrying, and relinquished myself of the aegis as ever by just setting it against the wall. I'd relocate it appropriately some other time. Actually, now that I was fully home, I felt tired. I'd been traveling for fucking ever, jeez.

I moved aside from the entryway to give Kohaku room to enter and look around before engaging in the extended process of removing my greaves, which I probably wouldn't have even been suspected of wearing had it not been for the slight clink that accompanied my every step. After leaning down, untying and unstrapping I similarly set them up next to my shield, quickly building up a small armory. My bag of knives, shuriken and other assorted lethal weaponry was similarly dealt with after being removed from my hip. Standing up straighter after all those burdens had been lain aside, I felt as light as fucking air. I stretched upward, relieving some of the tension in my muscles, nearly touching the ceiling. Wasn't a very high ceiling but yanno.

This done, I looked back to Kohaku. I would have felt completely comfortable around her already (which was weird) if not for the fact that my her opinion of me was still of concern. "What's mine is yours. Even if it's not much," Again, I chuckled. "Uh..." Then I turned suddenly uncertain. Usually when home alone my giant coat-jacket would be removed, leaving only my sleeveless top and shorts underneath it, but... she was here... Dare I?

Eh, fuck it. She was my sister, even if I'd only known her half an hour.

I shrugged it off, as well. There were a couple of miscellaneous items still held within its pockets, but they were negligible. I would have hung it up in my room, but it would have felt kind of awkward to leave Ko alone, even for a moment. Thus I just draped it over the back of the sofa, the color matching almost perfectly. The feeling of my bare arms against the air was always an unusual one after wearing the heavy garment for so long. It was enough to make me feel awkward all by itself, and I folded my arms as undefensively as I could. "Sorry," I then apologized. "I would have recommended somewhere... yanno... nicer, but I kind of didn't want to carry all this stuff around with me any longer."

And then after that little monologue, I'd wait a moment to check for her reaction.[/ul][/div]

[kohaku]

Oh, my God, this is really happening. It dons on me now that we're stepping up some fucking stairs. I keep hoping she'll turn her head, glance at me, or something, to at least acknowledge my existence. I suppose that's not something she's used to, though; my existence. Hah.

I feel silly, however, as my cheeks still feel caked in dry tears. I've been rubbing at them the whole stroll, my face was probably at least a little flushed. Just a little.

"Uh, it's um, not the most glamorous thing you've ever seen, I'm sure..."

"That's fine."

The door opened and her back and fucking shield obscured my view. All I heard was a distraught, "The f-" and then silence. My heart raced for a moment. Was her house trashed? Did someone graffiti her place? Pranks? People? People boning on her couch? ???? Step aside, sister, I want to fucking see the-

Oh.

She allowed me to shrug in. My theories had all been dismissed as soon as I saw a tidy little fucking home full of...like, well, full of nothing, honestly. I cocked my head, drinking in the interior. It looked cozy, like a place I could get used to. So much better than what I would have expected from a member of our family. My apartment was fucking shit, no where near this building, even. The house I grew up in had been falling apart. My room had always been wrecked. This was a nice change, though.

"What's mine is yours. Even if it's not much," again, she chuckled. "Uh..."

I beamed gratefully at her.

"Thank you."

I was too happy to say much more.

Then she began to undress. Like, not a lot, just her overthing, but given the circumstances of just watching her impressive amount of weaponry, she looked, like, naked now. That was...um...it was nice? She was nice, definitely, really nice. I think she might notice if I look down. I strain to keep my eyes on her, but I can't help it. My gaze falls slowly, lingering over her torso. When her arms fold over her chest, my eyes drop more. I feel like I should return the favor and slip out of my own jacket and, um, hat? But I wouldn't be nearly as exposed as she was. I could take off my pants, too, just be in the black t-shirt and panties?

I laugh audibly at that thought. Oops. I hope she doesn't think I'm laughing at her.

"Sorry," my eyes darted up to hers again, " I would have recommended somewhere... yanno... nicer, but I kind of didn't want to carry all this stuff around with me any longer."

I nodded knowingly.

"It's alright, your place is a lot nicer than mine. I like it."

Pausing, I drank in more of her home before looking back to her again, slipping out of my red fleece and tossed it over to her couch. I prayed I seemed...um...familiar? Or...friendly.

"What do you wanna...start with?"

[Deleted]

[/b] I grinned with a little pride at that. Fuck I was such a sub.

She removed her own jacket and mimicked my motion of tossing it over the sofa, bringing her quite close to me. She was now all in black, and it contrasted with the color of her hair nicely. Yo, okay, she was pretty. Eyepatch or no eyepatch. It was nice, to me, for us just to be here, like a little two-person family, relinquished of our outside garments and just at home. I really loved her, in that instant. Not just in concept, relation, appearance or title, but everything. All together. And I still wanted to know everything about her life.

"What do you wanna...start with?"

Convenient.

...This could take a while. Seeing as we were so close to the couch already, I gently gestured for her to sit. Just, yanno, if she wanted to, coz I was. I sat myself down in it with more delicacy than I usually would have, and then just looked at her for another moment, my hands resting in my lap. "...Anything, Ko. Er, I hope I can call you that. B-but just... I want to know as much as you want to tell. Your history. What happened to you while we were apart... even though for you that's like, your entire life. But I want it to be... like we never were, if that's at all possible," I asked of her, smiling a smile that was half benign and encouraging and half kinda eager.

I was... the last surviving member of our family that was at least arguably not an undesirable fuckhead, now. I... was... in charge? There was a heavy thought. Any relationship me and my sister were to hold would be... my responsibility. If she didn't already have a family, then I would almost double as her parent. There wasn't enough of an age gap that that was reasonable in the literal sense, but I was an adult and she was not, so that may well eventuate, at least in certain elements.

...My life had gotten a lot more complicated recently, god damn.[/ul][/div]

[kohaku]

Oops, she saw me look. OOPS.

OH WELL. Can't even really care right now, honestly, I just wanted to sit, too. I sighed with relief as she gestured to her couch. I eased myself down as she did, my muscles relaxing against the seat. Awwyiss. I slouched against it, holding my chin up in my hand, resting my elbow on the arm of the couch as I listened to her. I liked the sound of her voice, I almost wanted her to keep talking. But it seemed she wanted me to do the talking. Which is, yes, reasonable. I'll ask her to return the favor when I'm done. Where to start.

"Mm...where to start?" I sighed.

Aligning my speech to the right would be too exhausting right now. Wait, what?

"Well," I began slowly. "Firstly," I smiled, bringing my eye up to hers, "yes, you can call me Ko. You can call me anything."

I chuckled softly before leaning back against her couch again. I had sat up straight, like, twice now, I think I was stalling.

"Um...okay, so, I guess I'll start from the beginning, right? Like I said, I don't remember you or mum. Dad says I'm his kid, but I...got my doubts. I mean, I don't even really resemble him physically. I guess I'm as angry as he was, but how can I not be, after growing up with him as my guardian?"

I bit my lower lip as I thought, my eyes dancing around on the ground for support.

"He wasn't ever really there, actually. After I got old enough to make my own meals, he just started...leaving, for a long time, for like..." I shook my head, remembering what a shit parent he really was. "One time I was home for a month, I was running low on food by the third week. Fucker didn't even leave me money, not enough for a buncha food, at least. Not to mention we lived, like, super far away from town, so...going out for food wasn't exactly an effortless task.

"And...so, that continued...for a while. But, ay, I'm alive."

I laughed warmly, despite the sinking feeling I felt in my gut.

"As much as I'd rather not be," I added softly. I continued quickly.

"So then this one day came where he just went over the line. He crossed it like a fucking douchebag. I..."

I didn't really want to get into it, but fuck, I'm gonna.

"He didn't, like, violate me or nothing. Not sexually, at least. I mean, yeah, he might be the reason why I'm a lesbo, but that's more on a mental thing. He sorta ruined men for me. Plus. girls are hot, yanno?"

I shook my head, this isn't the time for that topic. Subconsciously, I think, I just want her to know I was gay. What if she was homophobic? What if she would tell me to get out because of my homosexuality?

"He, you know, took my eye. Like, literally. I have no idea what possessed him to literally take my fucking eye, man. And he didn't even take it in a clean way. He just..." I gulped, imitating a stabbing motion. "Took it out with a fork."

I blew out air through my nose.

"I left, after that. Then I was adopted by this dude. He had a daughter, and she had a friend, and then we all became friends. Life was pretty simple for a while, honestly. But his daughter died. I...can't even remember her name, but I was in love with her. Some part of me doesn't want to remember her, it...kind of hurts..."

I gulped.

"Mei, the other girl, we broke up after that. We're still close, but..it's the same, you know? She's still mad at me for not telling...the other how I had felt."

I shook my head.

"I left after a while, too. I went and became a ninja, yanno? Because I...knew you were a ninja...so...I thought we would bump into each other, eventually." I laughed. "And I guess we did."

I looked at her. I...was afraid? Was that enough information for her? I felt like I had been talking forever.

[Deleted]

[/i], when he was not. Me and Kohaku both just looked exactly like mum; we could have been actual sisters, and the world would never have spotted the difference. Still, I would have to enlighten her later. Not that the fact that she was only fractionally my sister meant anything to me, and I hoped she would live by the same ideal.

I bit my lip as she continued, and curled inward a little bit towards her, properly facing her, now. This must be torture for her, I thought. I couldn't even be mad at my dad, right now. Well, only internally.

"As much as I'd rather not be," She said. I was close enough to hear it. My hands moved to one of hers, and I clutched it gently.

At least the bastard hadn't been inhuman enough to molest her, or anything of the sort; small mercies.

Oh. So she was homosexual. I prayed that her glances were innocent, but, at the same time, I couldn't help but feel an extra affinity towards her. I'd never thought about it in such a way, but, yeah. Girls are hot, yanno.

What my dad did do was take of her pretty blue eyes, though. How many things there were that I would never forgive him for, each one burning brightly and intensifying the last.

A fucking fork.

She was adopted. I was almost sad, but only for selfish reasons (I kind of wanted her to myself, for hopefully understandable reasons). Did she live with the guy? She didn't specify. I assumed probably yes, though she disclosed very little on that matter, and beyond anything I didn't want to interrupt her. She spoke of a girl she had loved, and that reminded me of Isabella. But this person had died. I had never quite let myself imagine how that would feel. Isabella had shown me that there was true kindness in the world. She embodied everything I think I need, and she brought out a person in me that I thought was dead; that I had hardly ever known. I think I would sooner die than to live in a world without her.

Perhaps the connection Ko and this girl had had did not run quite so deep, what with how young they had been, but I still felt immense sympathy for her in that moment. It was a tragic story. I had expected it, but hoped against it, and there was a lot that I could not have anticipated.

"I left after a while, too. I went and became a ninja, yanno? Because I...knew you were a ninja...so...I thought we would bump into each other, eventually." She laughed.

She was precious.

"And I guess we did."

It took me a second to properly absorb everything; I gulped down the powerful front of my sadness, and... I couldn't do anything but reach one arm behind her and hug her again. My chin rested upon her head. Just one arm, first, but then the other came up and took its place across her lower torso. Bare arms, who cares. I breathed in the scent of her hair and stared out my window, a way away as it was. I almost felt like I was breaching some code by doing this still, but I didn't care.

"I'm sorry, Ko." I told her, but unlike before, my voice was even; simply solemn. Such misery she had endured, it made me feel a little empty inside. I kissed her crown, paying no mind to what she may or may not look at me like. Then I pulled away a little, my hands coming up to her shoulders, almost bracingly, and I knew it was time to give her answers.

"First off..." I said, having to pause for a deep breath. My voice was very quiet as I searched her eye with my own. "You... you're not his kid. My mother - er, our mother - she had a... well, another partner, after my dad left. Daiyo was his name. Daiyo Mokou." I smiled at the memory. I had never liked my stepdad as much as my mum, but, now that I was an adult, I could look back on him and admire him without bias. "He was a kind guy, even though his being around took me a lot of getting used to. He helped mum; took care of her, after my dad - Tato, I'll call him Tato - left, and all. But yeah, we... we're half-sisters. I hope that doesn't change anything between us." I added hopefully, looking concerned for a moment before continuing. "Anyway, um, Ko, well..."

This was the really sad part. The part I didn't want her to know, but had to tell her.

"Da- Tato, he, he came back when you were only a year old, and... well he, he killed Daiyo, and he took you away. We didn't know where to look, I'm sorry." I hoped she would not be too upset about this news, but that wasn't even the worst of it. "It... it was rough for the next few years, but mum couldn't cope. She's dead, I'm sorry. She killed herself. I was twelve. I've been living here ever since then."

That was heavy shit. Like, fuck. I don't know if it was possible to really, truly grow sad over the death of someone you've never known, even if they were family, but... yeah. I looked as distraught as I felt.

As for the rest of my life. "My... my life isn't interesting. I can tell you about it if you really want but it's... it's nothing special..."[/ul][/div]

[kohaku]

Oh, gosh, I love it when she does that. When she hugs me, or embraces my hand or shoulders or just makes contact. It feels good to just...touch my sister. Ugh, that sounds so wrong but it's true. It's nothing sexually gratifying, not really. Just...being touched by someone you thought you'd never, ever meet is nice. It must be even more so for her; she had something to miss. I just had the false idea of being with my sister. She was actually with me.

Or, half sister. Apparently.

"I'm sorry, Ko."

I smiled. It's funny. Hearing someone say "sorry" for something somebody else did is still so very nice. For someone to apologize for the shit I've been exposed to is just...it's just fucking awesome. I patted her back thankfully, unable to think of a more proper way to thank her.

"First off..."

I made a slight face of disapproval as she slid away from our hug, but listened closely to what she had to say.

"You... you're not his kid."

"What?" I nearly barked.

That motherfucker.

"My mother - er, our mother - she had a... well, another partner, after my dad left. Daiyo was his name. Daiyo Mokou."

At least my biological father wasn't that fucking prick.

"He was a kind guy, even though his being around took me a lot of getting used to. He helped mum; took care of her, after my dad - Tato, I'll call him Tato - left, and all. But yeah, we... we're half-sisters. I hope that doesn't change anything between us."

Can I meet him? And mom? I bit down on my tongue before blurting out these questions, but I'm sure the excitement was visible in my expression. My god, a rush of anticipation blew over me. My entire entity fucking tensed. I shook my head excitedly in reply to her question. She's my sister regardless and I'm happy as fuck to be in her presence.

"Anyway, um, Ko, well..."

???

"Da- Tato, he, he came back when you were only a year old, and... well he, he killed Daiyo, and he took you away. We didn't know where to look, I'm sorry.  It... it was rough for the next few years, but mum couldn't cope. She's dead, I'm sorry. She killed herself. I was twelve. I've been living here ever since then."

The excitement drained from my face. Well, shit. I tried to surface my disappointment in a correct way; but tears didn't elicit. I couldn't cry. I wanted to, I was deeply saddened, yes, but all I could form was a sad expression. I sighed heavily, slumping slightly.

"My... my life isn't interesting. I can tell you about it if you really want but it's... it's nothing special..."

"I...I wanna hear. Your life is as foreign to me as my life is to you. Trust me, no matter how bland, it'll seem adventurous in comparison to my life. I want to hear how it was for my big sister."

I smiled warmly at her.

//OOC: I'M WAY SORRY KAI BUT I WOn't be able to get on this weekend again nor Friday - tomorrow - so you can take like hella time to reply yes ok. I HOPE WE CAN REMAIN FRIENDS. ♥

[Deleted]

[/b] She said, putting on a brave face, it seemed. My look of concern lingered on her a moment longer, before I retracted my arms and tried to gather myself for my own tale. I had not adequately prepared for this.

Ko's story was just sad, but mine was... shameful. There was a lot I didn't want to admit. Okay, I should probably be saying this aloud. My hands twisted uncomfortably in my lap. "I... I'm not proud of my life, Ko. After everything that happened, after I came here, I... I didn't know what to do with myself, and I... regret a lot of what happened in my teenage life." I took a deep breath. "I didn't have any friends at the academy, probably because I pushed people around and beat them up if they tried to fight back. I started drinking heavily when I was fift- okay, okay fourteen. I was on my own, that whole time. Nobody to tell me what I should or shouldn't do, so I... I stole things, and I broke things, and so people... broke me in return.

"I can't think of an important bone I haven't had broken by some bastard or other, back when they were twice my size. When I got older, people, they'd... grope me, almost molest me instead of just hurting me, and that's sort of why I have my coat, even if it doesn't happen anymore... I..." I gulped. I hadn't really admitted that to anyone, before. Not even Isabella had been told that little piece of information, though she might have figured it out on her own.

"I've... been to jail twice. I've come very close to killing myself, I think, in the past," I admitted, glancing at Kohaku. Another thing Isabella had never been told, even though she was practically the sole reason it hadn't happened. "That was when I was about twenty. Luckily, I met Isabella around that time. She's... uh, well she's basically my girlfriend. I've known her for three years, I think, now. We traveled to Moon together, actually. And back." I smiled at the memory. "I'll introduce you to her, sometime. She's... she's nothing like me, really, but I suppose that's what makes her as amazing as she is," I said, chuckling.

"I guess I just spent the past decade sulking. I can't even remember what I used to justify it with. Do it to forget, probably. That's the kind of irresponsible bastard I am. I grew strong, though. I've saved Isabella's life before. Beat the fuck out of a small army when they tried to hurt her. Nobody hurts her," I whispered the last line to myself, grinding my teeth at the memory, but regained presence of mind quickly. "About the only useful thing I ever managed to do, I reckon."

That was... really it, wasn't it? "I would probably be a shit ninja if I hadn't had to defend myself all those years. Theoretically, I'm a Chuunin now," I mentioned, grinning a little despite myself. "Just have to wait for Rosalie to prepare herself, and then everyone is receiving the final verdict on their titles, from what I was told. That's uh, why we were in Moon. Chuunin Exams."

Well, that had been kind of a lot to tell, even if most of it was kinda petty. I exhaled a huge sigh, and sagged forward, before I turned back up to admire Ko again. "I like your hair." I had to comment, almost in envy. "Mine used to be almost that long when I was your age, but I cut it. Assholes tended to pull it in fights." Then I sighed, and chuckled again. My story wasn't nearly as sad, but I had never told it to anyone before, and doing so had been surprisingly taxing.

Which was kinda pathetic, but hey, I was nothing if not consistent.[/ul][/div]

[kohaku]

"I... I'm not proud of my life, Ko. After everything that happened, after I came here, I... I didn't know what to do with myself, and I... regret a lot of what happened in my teenage life."

I nodded slowly. Perhaps not knowingly, considering I was still in my teenage life. Therefore, my nodding was mere support. I remained silent as she read me her autobiography from her heart. My expression twisted to her story accordingly, my lips pulling down and up a lot. Oh, I wish I had been there, I wish my fa...um, no, I wish Tato hadn't found it necessary to take me from my sister. It was my fault she had been so sad. Or, no, Tato's, really.

I frowned at the thought of men touching my sister in anyway without consent. Men were fucking pricks.

Jail? Twice? Wow.

Isabella? She sounds amazing, she sounds like she's really helped you, sis. I want to meet her, and thank her.

"Theoretically, I'm a Chuunin now. Just have to wait for Rosalie to prepare herself, and then everyone is receiving the final verdict on their titles, from what I was told."

I bounced a little in my seat, my eyes widening.

"I like your hair."

I smiled as she complemented my hair. I felt bubbly inside, almost embarrassed. I ran a hand through my red locks to emphasize its length and colour.

"You need to get that title, yo!" I exclaimed, choking down my excitement when I realized just how loud my voice had grown. "I can wait here!"

Or, not, I mean, we did just meet.

"Or I can come back. Um...oh, and, I wanna meet Isabella! Can I meet her? Do you think she would like me? And, if you don't mind me asking, why did you go to jail, anyways? And, uh, what do you specialize in? You don't seem the Genjutsu type to me. I'm sorry that I wasn't around for you, by the way, even if I am the younger sister. And, and-"

I took a deep breath. I'm, like, really fucking sure this is the happiest I've ever been. I dropped my hands, noting that they had been trying to accomodate to my monologue. I cracked an endearing smile at her, my teeth barely showing. I loved my sister.

[Deleted]

[/b]

Huh? My brow furrowed in confusion.

...Wait.

My head snapped up to the little analog clock to the right of my kitchen cupboards, and let out a little gasp. Where had all that fucking time gone?! Shit. I was about to get up, as startled as I was, but she was talking again. "I can wait here! Or I can come back. Um...oh, and, I wanna meet Isabella! Can I meet her? Do you think she would like me? And, if you don't mind me asking, why did you go to jail, anyways? And, uh, what do you specialize in? You don't seem the Genjutsu type to me. I'm sorry that I wasn't around for you, by the way, even if I am the younger sister. And, and-"

I got up while she spoke, sensing her flustered speech becoming more and more incoherent. Her scattered thoughts brought a smile to my face; it sounded a lot like the way I sometimes ranted when I was nervous. I took her face in my hands to quiet her. "Come with me," I urged with an excited whisper, and grinned all the wider. Then I broke contact with her and darted swiftly over to my weapon bag, fastening it again to my hip, and sailed back over to the couch, snatching up my coat with a swipe of my hand and -

...

I could only grimace.

This? This thing? It hung heavily from my grasp, all thick and defensible. Look at it, I told myself. If I stared really hard, I could probably spot where the bad memories wove into the fabric. It was a shadow; a secure place, where none could see me, and I had to stand up to naught; but a dark place, a lonely place. It almost seemed alive, now. I had given it such energy, made it such a habit.

My expressionless face turned to Ko. Look, you stupid fool. You have people now. You have family and you have love.

You don't need that dark place anymore.

"Nah," Was all I said, smiling and dropping my coat back down on the couch. This would be the first time I'd been outside without it by entirely my choosing for... so very long, but I would not let my apprehension show. I was an adult and an older sibling, now. Even Isabella was younger than me. I was meant to be the brave one.

I was meant to be the brave one.

"Let's go, sis." I said, and departed.

If she did not object, I would wrap my arm around her shoulder as we left.

I loved my sister.

...Hopefully we wouldn't be all that late.[/ul][/div]

[Exit]

[kohaku]

"Come with me."

Everything around me, beside me and below me, above me; everything from my past and all my worries about the future seemed to be dismissed in that instant. She was asking me to come with her; and in such a loving way. It made me want to tear up again, but there was no time for that. This, definitely, makes me so happy. She was asking so little, but in retrospect, it was a lot. Nobody has ever wanted me to come with them. Follow, maybe, or lead, but never just...come, as an equal. She was asking me to be with her, as a supporting role, as a sister, as a respected individual. And that's all I could ever ask for; to come with her.

All this thought about coming with my sister, however, had me a little more than flustered. Ya digg?

I gave a ginger nod between her hands, my eyes following her as she darted all over the place for her belongings. I slid off the couch, standing as she contemplated her jacket. I smiled as it fell. It made me feel giddy, to know she suddenly felt okay with being exposed because I had tipped her day off. In a good way, I hoped. I decided to return the favor, eyeing my jacket briefly. It was hella hot, anyways, I didn't need it. And I'm almost positive I'll be able to obtain it once again later.

"Let's go, sis," she said.

"Let's go, yo," I said.

[exit]

[Deleted]

[/i], there you go. Twilight? No? Oh my god you know what I mean. NOT LIGHT.

It was probably almost dark enough within my one-bedroom apartment to draw the curtains and switch on the lights, but for now the faint fuchsia lingering on the horizon of the otherwise dark sky filtered through the windows was somehow atmospherically pleasing. That, and I really wanted to sit down. Immediately. I left the door open behind me for Kohaku and sort of melted down onto the sofa.

Kaoru. Don't pass out. You have guests.

I forced my eyes open, usually so vividly green but stone grey in the dimness. "Sorry Ko. I'm just... yeah," I explained lamely in a voice devoid of energy. "Honestly, I just wanted out of your parent's house, but like, if you want to stay, be my guest. Today or any day. I just can't promise to be the most entertaining host." I chuckled, transforming into another yawn, which I covered with the back of my hand. "In fact, I'll probably be sleeping like, momentarily. Whether I make the decision to or not, if you know what I'm sayin'."[/div][/ul]

[kohaku]

I ain't stupid, I could tell she was tired.  Like, as soon as she had, yanno, been showing drowsiness at my parents' house?  I shrugged it off, following along with her, speaking and whatever.  We were at her front door, and she was on her couch.  

I let myself in through the door she left open, closing it gently behind me and sauntering to the couch, where I stood over her and listened to her as she spoke apologetically.  I smiled dimly.  I didn't mind.  I wasn't tired, sure, but I could sleep, I think.  Especially if she needed some well-deserved shut eye.

"It's alright," I assure her, slipping onto the arm of the couch.  I eye her quietly for a moment as she continued to look tired and whatever.

"I, uh...if you're positive, I'll...heh, stay with you," saying it made me feel giddy.  The thought of having a sleep over with my motherfuckin' sister was amazing, okay?  I mean, I hear about how kids hate having to share rooms with siblings, but that kind of sounds like a blessing.  I mean, like  usually there's bunk beds, and I wouldn't consider sleeping on the floor; but right now, no place seemed more comfortable than my sister's floor.

Aww yiss.

[Deleted]

[/i]. She is not a valid target of attraction, brain could tell me - Kaoru as a whole was not so inclined to listen. I had held her, drawn her close, kissed her - not sensually, but... I had wanted to. Was that normal? Was that platonic? I mean, she wasn't a baby anymore. She was a sexually mature human being.

She was... beautiful. Adorable. Enchanting. I wanted her to be happy. Not to say that I felt the same deep, irrevocable connection that I did with Isabella, where I thought that her exiting my life in any fashion may somehow cause me to directly cease to exist, but... it was still...

...There.

But it couldn't be. Surely.

"Ko," I said aloud, before realizing I'd spoken. Fuck. My eyes refocused on her. What had I been about to say? Compile thoughts.

I gulped. "I... It might just be my imagination, and... it's not like I'm mad or anything... but...

"Today... have I seen you... looking at me?"

[kohaku]

In the few short whiles of silence, I was able to drink her in more appropriately.

...actually, not appropriately, I found my mind drifting into different dimensions of possibly inappropriate attributes. Damn. I promised myself that I would only be aesthetically attracted to my sister come the day I find her, but no, I just had to be a lesbian. I just had to find her in my prime. I just had to find myself in a position of thinking...lewdly of my sister. Man, I really am a freak. Albeit a one-eyed freak who can hardly think of my sister as a sibling right noe. I mean...our relationship was not binary, was it? Cos, like, growing up, knowing I had a sister but not actually establishing a sisterly bond with her, rather an infatuation, is to be expected on my half, right?

Alright, so, maybe I'm just coming up with bullshit theories to prematurely make up for whatever I say and/or do.

Looking her over, I decided it was best this remain to myself. It was probably just childish hormones, the kind I always get when in the presence of a new individual.

"Ko."

Good, a nice subject change is probs for the best. My eye turns up to her eyes expectantly.

"I... It might just be my imagination, and... it's not like I'm mad or anything... but... Today... have I seen you... looking at me?"

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Shit, too, don't forget him. Mother fucking shit. Or, Pooh Bear's equivalent; Oh bother.

I swallowed hard. "Uh..." was all I heard myself choke out. I shook my head of disbelief. I'm not supposed to be able to make rational decisions, right? Might as well take advantage of my adolescent stereotypes and go with the flow.

"...maybe?" I offered a nervous giggle. "Depends on what you mean..?"

Oh, shut up, Kohaku. You know fucking exactly what she means you swine.

[Deleted]

[/i]? That's not what I wanted at all. My expression and tone had been appropriately easy, I would have thought, but then again, I suppose it was quite the accusation.

She was looking to deny it, though. "Uh...maybe? Depends on what you mean..?" Feigning innocence. I wasn't annoyed. I just looked at her a moment longer. My head tilted slightly to one side; I was trying to be diplomatic about this. How could I be angry? I didn't even know how I felt about it. I mean, I did. But not really. I mean, I could sympathize. There we go.

"Sis. I'm not mad at you. I'm not asking you to be ashamed. I'm not even all that surprised," I assured her, the last sentence inadvertently making me sound like an arrogant bitch, in hindsight.

"I just want to know."

[kohaku]

SPOILER: Click to show

Yeah, I get that you're not mad, but this isn't how I really planned my first actual conversation with you to go down. Like, about us, as people. I was hoping it would be more like "Oh man you're a good lil sis," not "Wow you think I'm attractive wth."

Groaning slightly, I cock my head, rubbing my face against my shoulder nervously as I avoid eye contact. "Umm.."

I shrug. "Well, I mean, it's not like I'd be lying when I say you're attractive, you know?" I frown slightly, picking my head up and looking wt her directly. I huff gently as more excuses run through my cranium and try to break out, but instead of pouring out a bunch of lame ass shit, I guess I'll just tell the truth.

"Honestly, I mean...it's your fault for being pretty," I laugh shortly. Oh, no, the sarcastic bitch within is starting to consume me. I take a deep breath.

"So, uh, yes. I guess? I was sort of, ugh. Checking you out," I roll my eyes. Er—my eye.

"I'm sorry," I say feebly. Should I apologize for finding someone attractive? No. But should I apologize for allowing my sister, of all people, to become subject to my sexual preferenced thinkpan? UHHH, probably.  I manage a gentle smile as I continue.  "It's just sort of innocent, you know?  I'm not, like, expecting you to ravish me.  Or, uh, vice versa.  I know you got Isabella all up in your romantic arms and whatnot, and believe me, I wouldn't want to intrude on that in, like, any way.

"It's just that, well, not only have I not ever been able to view my sister, I've never had to view my sister, anyone, as a sister.  And the one person I was to view as my sister, albeit surrogate, I ended up falling in love with her.  So the notion of 'platonic love' is somewhat foreign to me," I even worked in air quotes.  I shut my yap quickly, realizing she probably didn't even want my empty logic.

[Deleted]

[/i] than carefully measured inquiry, and now I was stuck with it. I knew I should be disgusted by the very conversation taking place here, but that wasn't anywhere in the realm of possibility. She looked away. I'd hardly ever seen Isabella look that bashful. It was a whole new world of cute. Wait, no, damn it Kaoru, you are the elevated, mature, non-participating party. REMEMBER?

"Umm... Well, I mean, it's not like I'd be lying when I say you're attractive, you know?" Sure, that makes you probably the second person to think that in a positive sense. Or at least admit it. Wait. No, this shouldn't count as positive. Uhhh. Passive? Nope. Non-hostile? Without wanting to rape me, is what I'm getting at. I had smiled a little half-smile before I'd meant to, and wished I could drop it without being even weirder for it. Her excuses, jibes, they were of little concern. Attempted and pretty much failed damage control. A nice courtesy, though. But what was important:

"I'm sorry," She apologized. "It's just sort of innocent, you know? I'm not, like, expecting you to ravish me. Or, uh, vice versa. I know you got Isabella all up in your romantic arms and whatnot, and believe me, I wouldn't want to intrude on that in, like, any way. It's just that, well, not only have I not ever been able to view my sister, I've never had to view my sister, anyone, as a sister. And the one person I was to view as my sister, albeit surrogate, I ended up falling in love with her. So the notion of," - air quote - "'platonic love' is somewhat foreign to me."

...Of course, I mean, yeah. She didn't need to explain it. I already understood. This was not a court case, and it was all fairly self-explanatory. So, what should I do here? Ball in my court, now. I know what I should definitely do. 'As long as you understand that nothing can ever happen between us. We'll both get over it eventually, I'm sure.' Or maybe an even better version wouldn't include anything about my being a part of it. Was that what I'd do, though?

She was so, so cute. I had the weakness to let myself imagine what an uninhibited me would have done right then - how I would have leaned forward to kiss her, leaned over her, laid her down, told her I didn't care about it all. But - we interrupt your irregularly scheduled daydream - I did. Sort of. I don't think the fact that we were like seven years apart meant shit to me, but the sister part was enough of a should that it partially upgraded into did.

And you love Isabella, damn it. Nobody in the world has ever been better to you, and they deserve all of you. You don't want anyone else. Not really. ...Would she mind? YES. Maybe? NOT A POSSIBILITY WORTH CHANCING, OKAY? Right.

Man, I was insane. I was fucked up. I mean, I already felt like that in a million ways, but this was some next level shit. So, now that you've internalized it for thirty years, what are you going to do, Kaoru? How does your body move? What prose does your fabulously disordered mind concoct?

It was all worse than I meant to have happened. I leaned into her slightly - but not like this was about to become a mouth to mouth affair, or anything. I was too high up. I kissed her forehead. Gently. Too long. WHY? FUCK YOU, KAORU, THAT'S STUPID. My face expressed nothing but kindness and composure as I moved back to once again establish eye contact. YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. THAT IS LITERALLY THE LA- SECOND LAST THING YOU NEEDED TO HAVE DONE. MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

"I understand." Oh boy, I had been woken up momentarily by that whole affair, but now I was tired as again. I yawned and leaned back, slumping down onto the arm of the sofa. "Just so long as I wake up clothed and unmolested, we're cool." Did I really think that was funny? Okay, that was a little funny. Was it? Yes. It shouldn't be. Okay. I laughed anyway. Well, more of a short chuckle.[/ul]

[kohaku]

SPOILER: Click to show

Linkin Park's "In The End" plays gently in the background.

My heart raced.  She looked like she was contemplating.  Contemplating what?  Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck me.  Literally?  No, fuck, don't literally fuck me, I meant metaphorically fuck me.  Didn't I?  Wait, fuck, stop.  Kohaku, calm your tits.  MY TITS WILL NOT CALM I AM HAVING AN EMOTIONAL, SEXUAL REVELATION HERE, SHUT UP.  Okay.

My oxygen intake hitched as she came closer.  Disappointingly, a smooch to my forehead was all I got.  But I wasn't upset.  Was I relieved?  I don't-Ican't-ughgughgh.  I exhaled, melting against the couch slightly as she repositioned herself.  Ah, yes, the sweet bliss of rejection.  But rejection from my sister, so we avoided some crazy incest thing, unfortunately.  NO WAIT THE AFFAIR WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN FORTUNE, but it...um...ok.

I laughed slightly.  It wasn't even a funny joke, or a good one, and in fact probably a little too insensitive, and if I was not sick, demented li'l ol' me who just flirted with the possibility of copulation with my long lost sister, I would not have chuckled.  But I did.  Cos I'm me.

"Alright."  Short and sweet.  I look over at her, unsure of where I'm to sleep.  "Everything aside, I'm still glad we found each other, yanno?"

[Deleted]

[/b] That was her statement. "Yeah," I agreed, speaking to the quiet darkness. Oh man, now that was over, I just wanted to fall into unconsciousness. I could feel sleep lying beneath me like some great pit, just waiting for me to will the ground away so I could drop blissfully down into it. But there were still other people around. Breathing in, I extracted myself from the couch and stood properly.

"Alright. I only have the one bed, and no, but the sofa does do the whole bed-conversion thing. I never imagined it was a feature I'd actually use." I was talking while I took my black coat off the back of the aforementioned couch, still draped there from earlier today. I hitched it over my shoulder and leaned down to the base of the sofa. I gestured for her to get up off it. "Let's see if I can even remember how to set this shit up..."

A good ten minutes later, fortunately having successfully recounted the art of couch-to-bed transformation, I had moved the coffee table out, brought out a couple of extra pillows and some spare blankets that I hoped would be warm enough for what was shaping up to be a relatively mild night, it seemed. I did all this pretty much on autopilot; my limbs ached, my head was cloudy as fuck, but I managed not to do anything disastrously wrong in my groggy state. "Okay!" I declared when done. I looked over to Kohaku. "Bathroom is the only other room besides mine, pretty uncomplicated. I'm like eighty-five percent sure there's still some food left in the cupboards, 'n stuff. If I sleep in like a lazy bastard, wake me up whenever. I'm sorry again. It's not a lot.

"Anything else?"

[kohaku]

SPOILER: Click to show

"Alright. I only have the one bed, and no, but the sofa does do the whole bed-conversion thing. I never imagined it was a feature I'd actually use."

Okay, so, maybe I should feel a bit more offended by the assumption of me wanting to share a bed. But, truthfully, maybe I kind of did give the initial reaction to her mentioning the single bed of "holy shit yes." I mean, I wouldn't have tried anything, but, you know, I get what she's going for. So, I wasn't offended; I instead grinned stupidly.

She proceeded to fuck with the couch, and I felt a bit guilty. I smiled and nodded as she spoke.

"Anything else?"

I shook my head. "No, thank you, you've already done so much for me in the short day we've been reconciling." I gave a curt nod before gesturing for her to go on to bed. "I've kept you up past your bed time for too long," I admitted. "Thank you, though. Really!"

I climbed into my own makeshift bed, thankful and grateful. Battling with mentioning those three magic words, I felt conflicted.

No matter where she was, whether still beside me or in her doorway, I took a shaky breath.

"Hey, Sis?" I prompted. "I, uh...I love you."

Bam, there, I fucking said it. I am a sister of bravado.