KyoIkki Son of the grass

[kyoikki]

Basic Information

Name:Kyoikki  , True lst name unknown. , Hyuuga (adopted)

Bloodlimit:None

Height:4'2

Weight:95 pounds

Age:8

Gender:Male

Alignment:CN

Birth Country:Land of fire

Village:Village hidden in the grass

Special: NinJutsu Specialist TaiJutsu Specialis GenJutsu Non-Specialist  Clan Non-Specialist


Weapons



Primary Weapon:

Secondary Items:


Non-Weapon Items

Character Depth

Personality:

[/b] Kyoikku  Is a hot blooded young boy who normally rowdy and willing to let his fist talk for him when his words can not. Being forced to grow up very fast as a child Kyoikki is helplessly drawn to attractive women to the point he is not above taking a peak or at them when not look. However his shy nature toward pretty women keep him from overt leering.

Toward his friends and family Kyoiiki takes the bonds he has with people to heart and will never go back on his word to them. Even so far as to risk his own safety for one of them without a second thought. With enemies Kyoikki shows no emotion and  does not comprehend the concept of an enemy while in his normal state.

Battle:  In his battle state which is brought on by  his trama takes over when Kyoikki can't deal with the violence around him and the actions he might have to do in order to get things done. More of a safety mechanic then a true personality. Kyoikki simply refers to him as Kyo in this state.

When it comes to anyone who is in the way of the objective or even if they are just a by stand Kyo will see them as something to get rid of in order to further his goals or complete an objective. No man women or child will be spared by kyo in this state. The only person kyo would not harm in this state is Anri. Anri is a father to KyoIkki someone he would never betray or go against for any reason.[/ul]

Appearance:

Background:

[kyoikki]

Techniques

[/b]- "C"
Skill: Ninjutsu
Effect: The user creates a steady stream of electricity against a single target.
Special: Ox - Monkey - Dog - Dragon
Drawback: "D" Rank require both hands. "C" Rank requires one hand.
Description: After forming the needed hand seals the user will create a fist sized orb of electricity and thrust it at a single target as a steady stream of electricity. At "D" Rank the lightning is only capable of knock a target back and inflict minor burns, and could reach a maximum range of 5 meters. At "C" Rank the lightning is able to cause first degree burns and numbness to the affected area, and reach a maximum range of 10 meters.
Limit: Lightning Release

Glamour Perception (freebie)
Rank: "C"
Skill: GenJutsu
Effect: Jutsu allows the user to perform Glamour Perceptions.
Special: ---
Drawback: ---
Description: Glamours cannot produce real effects, but they can change things that already exist. That's the chief difference between a Figment and a Glamour. If you want solid wood to feel rotten, birdcalls to sound like the shrieks of the damned, an otyugh to smell like perfume, or a disguise yourself, you probably want a glamour. As with Figments, everyone within range perceives the same thing and reacts appropriately.
Limit: ---

Fuuton no Jutsu (Wind Release Skill)  (freebie)
Rank: "C"
Skill: NinJutsu
Effect: ---
Special: ---
Drawback: ---
Description: With this skill, or release, the user is now capable of using, and performing techniques that deal with the element of Wind. This means that any NinJutsu or specialized TaiJutsu that deals the Wind Release will need this in order to be performed correctly.
Limit: ---

Suiton no Jutsu (Water Release Skill) (freebie)
Rank: "C"
Skill: NinJutsu
Effect: ---
Special: ---
Drawback: ---
Description: With this skill, or release, the user is now capable of using, and performing techniques that deal with the element of Water. This means that any NinJutsu or specialized TaiJutsu that deals the Water Release will need this in order to be performed correctly.
Limit: --- 

Courageous (freebie)
Rank: "C"
Skill: Combat Trait
Effect: User's childhood was brutal, but they persevered through force of will and faith.
Special: ---
Drawback: ---
Description: No matter how hard things go, the user knew they can make it through as long as they kept a level head. The user gains a +2 trait bonus on Saves against fear effects. This trait replaces 1 Freebies.
Limit: Must start with Character; replaces 1 Freebies.



Resilient (freebie)
Rank: "C"
Skill: Combat Trait
Effect: Growing up in a poor neighborhood or in the unforgiving wilds often forced the user to subsist on food and water from doubtful sources.
Special: ---
Drawback: ---
Description: User has built up their Constitution as a result of harsh environments, and gain a +1 Category in their Natural Resistance in Fortitude. Example: Non TaiJutsu Specialist is considered a TaiJutsu Specialist when determining their Natural Resistance in Fortitude. This does not increase beyond TaiJutsu Master. TaiJutsu Masters do not benefit from this Trait. This trait replaces 1 Freebies.
Limit: Must start with Character; replaces 1 Freebies.

Gifted Adept (freebie)
(Dragon of grass)
Rank: "C"
Skill: Chakra Trait
Effect: Due to seeing the manifestation of a Jutsu the user is able to perform it as if they were higher Class Level.
Special: ---
Drawback: ---
Description: User's interest in Chakra was inspired by witnessing a Jutsu being performed in a particularly dramatic method, perhaps even one that affected them physically or spiritually. This early exposure to Chakra has made it easier for them to work similar Chakra on their own. Pick 1 Jutsu when the user picks this trait—from this point on, whenever the user performs that Jutsu, its effects manifestation at 1 Class Level higher. This trait replaces 1 Freebies.
Limit: Must start with Character; replaces 1 Freebies.
[/ul]

[Cacophony]

The items and some techniques are still showing up double spaced. I have found, for me atleast, the best way to stop this from happening is to copy and paste them while in BBCode and press the post button when still in BBCode. I'd also like to see one or two more sentences on the last paragraph of appearance.

After those two tiny fixes are made, 1/3

[kyoikki]

Fixed

[💀]

Alrighty here are a few small issues:

1. You get 8 freebies. Those are Traits/Stances/Perceptions/Releases. You only have Earth/Lightning/Wind and Glamour.

2. You get 5 techniques which are the battle skills that are within those Freebies of Stances/Releases and perceptions. You have 5 but of those 5, 3 are from village scrolls: Demon of the Plains/Grass Dragon/Blades of grass.

You will need the permission of the Grass Village Kage to start with them.

3. You have fighting styles listed but those don't take up any slots unless you actually have techniques/stances/releases/perceptions within them.

Just listing Muay Tai doesn't mean anything respectively. You may spend your freebies to take the stances.


Here is a word of advice. Traits are picked at the beginning of character creation. You will not be able to gain them again unless you recreate or revamp. My advice is that you spend your 8 freebies on Traits. You can train Stances, perceptions an dreleases but you cannot train traits.

Pick something that fits your character if you are here for story, or pick something for fighting if you want to be scrappy. Take a look at a few other profiles if you are confused and I, or any other staff, will be HAPPY to assist you in any questions~

[kyoikki]

Fixed Cacophony is Anri who is the kage for the grass and he already okay ed me so i asume its good.

[Anri of the Grass]

I forgot to give him permission before, so here it is so everyone can see it. Permission granted to start with the village jutsu scroll techs

[💀]

Okay.

There is the issue of spacing in your techniques. Look underneath Fuuton release. You are missing the title of Suiton release and only have what is listed below it.

Please delete the spacing so we can grade this a smidge easier. Without the full template there could be bits and pieces of misplaced techniques anywhere.

[kyoikki]

Okay updated

[Dr. Neuro, RN]

The spacing still exists on your items. That needs fixed.

[kyoikki]

fixed

[Madame Loki]

I personally would like to see a little more meat to those background paragraphs. Especially the Character history. But that could just be me.

[Dr. Neuro, RN]

A paragraph on NFRP is defined as 5-6 sentences. Your one liners and two liners are not paragraphs. Add some flair. Be descriptive. Loki's observation of you lacking "meat" in those paragraphs was a correct assessment, which basically means I agree. Try filling in those paragraphs better. This website, you'll be writing a lot and it all starts here young one.

[kyoikki]

Updated.

[Dr. Neuro, RN]

Add more to appearance and double check your Grammar. No need to rush this. If you need help pinpointing the grammatical issues, I'm more than willing to help. I only bring grammar into it because some of it is hard to read.

[kyoikki]

Fixed

[Cacophony]

Okay, after all the edits, im gunna have to give this again, so 1/3.

[Madame Loki]

2/3

-However, you're going to want to label your what is your Freebies, and what are your free techniques clearly. -

[kyoikki]

updated

[Solus]

3/3