Practicing Technique (Training)

[Zyrag]

SPOILER: Click to show

Shosen no Jutsu (Healing Hands Technique)
Rank: D, C, B, A, S
Skill: Ninjutsu
Effect: The user heals injuries that repairs physical damage.
Special: --
Drawback: certain injuries may be impossible to cure or may take a long time to cure. The amount of chakra used is proportional to the injury required to be healed.
Description: The user gathers chakra into their hands, creating a bright green glow around them. The user then forces the healing chakra into the body of the patient, healing physical damage. This technique requires three movements to heal a minor injury and six movements to heal a major injury, minus one for every rank in this technique above D the user possesses, to a minimum of one. Starting at B rank, the user is able to heal critical injuries with this technique. Healing a critical injury requires sixteen movements, minus one movement for every rank above B the user possesses. Remove one movement from this process for every difficulty rank above D the user possesses.
Limit: Must be a medic, must know Gantai no Jutsu.

0/30

At dawn, Zyrag walked the village outskirts, and into the forest surrounding it. He walked for what seemed like twenty minutes until he came to a clearing. There was a small brook running at the far edge. It had silhouettes darting just under the surface. He examined his surroundings and sighed. It was time to start training.

He began by catching one of the fish. He did so by creating a line out of a small branch and some wire. The boy made the hook out of another stick he whittled. He thanked his dead father for taking him to hunt various animals. He added a small bit of bait, and waited for one to bite. It didn't take long.

Zyrag took the fish off the hook, and sat down. 'Okay, lets see how you do.' He thought and set it down. He worked a small cut with one of his kunai, and then put it beside the fish. He concentrated chakra to his hands and a soft green glow began to emanate from them. The glow enveloped both the fish and his hands. The small cut started to mend itself.

'Next...' He made a larger cut, and tried again. This time it took a little longer to complete. He continued until he reached a deep and long cut that he couldn't quite fix. He recreated it and tried again. 'Come on... Come on...' Again he didn't quite finish the job, but he did get closer to that goal.

He set up to attempt a third time. He was in the middle of the jutsu when he was interrupted by a loud groaning sound. He stopped and stood up. His legs were sore from sitting all that time. He heard the noise again and looked around. Then he realized it was his stomach, and decided it was time for lunch.

[|Ayame Unbound|]

6/30

You've included a set up which is good. The first two parts could be condensed into one paragraph.
Try to make it longer next time and add in some more description.
Other than that you should be good ^^

[Zyrag]

After he was finished eating, he looked up at the sky. It was almost noon. Zyrag grabbed his line and cast it back into the water. This time it took a little while for one to bite. It was as if they knew what happened to their fellow. Eventually, one bit and he pulled it to shore. He set up the fish like before, starting where he left off. He made the incision and the green glow radiated from his hands once again.

This time the cut healed and he proceeded as he did previously. The work was tedious, and became more and more difficult as he began making multiple cuts. This continued for about two hours. Then he heard a rustling sound in the brush. Zyrag instinctively reached for his double-edged kunai. He waited in suspense for whatever it was to get into the open.

A good sized animal emerged from behind a tree, and was glaring at him. The creature let out a growl of sorts and looked towards the fish, and then back at him. Zyrag slowly got up and made his way toward the animal, pausing as its growl intensified and continuing on the vice-versa. As he got close he saw why the creature was attracted to his fish. He saw a large wound on its hind leg.

'What could have caused that?' He tried to reassure the animal as he got even closer. He nudged it, and it laid down. Well, more like collapsed. It still wasn't sure of him, as he knelt over it. He put his hands over the wound and the glow returned. The creature was anxious at first, but settled into the treatment. "There ya go." He said when he was finished. As the animal stood up he took his fish and gave it to his new friend.

He sighed a third time as he watched the creature eat. 'What now...?' He asked himself as the animal slunk back into the forest from which it came. He went to re-bait his line, put it back in the stream, and waited for another bite. He had a better idea than just healing fish.