Uesugi! The Zoo Keeper?! [Mission]

[R i k i c h i]

Name: [ Capture the Pets. ]
Rank: D
IIC Length: 1 day
Difficulty: Easy
Description: It seems that Mrs. Yamanagi’s pets have escaped again, and are roaming the village and country, causing trouble for civilians. Cats, dogs, birds and even a few rats are scattered about the area. Find them and return them to Mrs. Yamanagi.
Objective: Capture the animals and return them to Mrs. Yamanagi.
Reward: 1500 Ryo

“Shikusho…” swore an indolent child grimly kicking at clump of mud.

Judging solely upon looks you might consider him a bad child. The dank, scraggly hair and the shifty set of his eyes beneath the permanently frowning brow gave him away as the troubled sort that held no good things beyond their horizons. It certainly didn’t help that he was carrying in broad daylight, a nondescript weapon crafted for the sole purpose of taking a life within the city limits. After all, while the villagers understood the job of shinobi, they certainly did not want to be reminded of the blood lusty men or women’s lives when in the confines of the sweet abode.

Uesugi Kenchu cared little for the villagers of the Mist after having been one’s bitch for the last half hour—the word ‘bitch’ being the operative function here. Mrs. Yamanagi had the appearance of a sweet old lady, but a heart as black as Satan himself, and probably darker if such a thing were possible. Everyone knew that shinobi were obligated to help then, but very few actually went so far as take advantage of the good fortune shown to them by abusing them ones offering them a good service.

Mrs. Yamanagi numbered among the few that did.

Before a cloudy faced Uesugi could replay the discussion he’d shared with the cantankerous witch a dog with a fuzzy, spotted tail zipped happily between his feet, no doubt yelping its happiness at its sudden freedom from its former master. Howling its delight, the answer that met the creature in midstride was undoubtedly the happily hooting of the other animals that currently ruled the village that they had been set loose upon. Chasing after the oddly spot tailed canine, Kenchu whistled past a cabbage vender fending off a few rats and a fluttering bird at his head. Hesitating a step while wondering if he should take pause to help the balding fat man, the Genin decided that the dog would cause more trouble later one and left offering only a consoling, “I’ll be back!” , as if that were the answer to the accosted businessman’s issues. With ironically cat like agility the mutt twisted around the corner, kicking a spray of mud onto a small girl’s bright pink dress and making her cry. Again the only action taken was,

“I’ll be back!”

Off Kenchu went. Towards his prey…without a means to detain the beasts, none of them had so much as a cage.

[R i k i c h i]

It was only after he rounded the second corner—only barely missing the face plant that awaited him once he did come round—that it occurred to the rash pursuer that with no means of detaining the caught animals, he would be perpetually trapped in a wheel of hunter and prey for the remainder of his tormented existence.

“You can’t put dogs into a burlap sack you know.” Gentarou said matter-of-factly, but Kenchu only pinched the midget before responded a bit snidely, “Your mother managed it when she gave birth to you. Kept you there until she could bear to look you.”

“Dumb!”

Instead of engaging in the tomfoolery as he normally might have done, Uesugi simply flicked the poindexter in his nose before taking off with several sacks heavily slung upon his shoulder and the look of a man prepared to do anything necessary to capture his quarry. First came the birds, which on hindsight might not have done so well in a burlap sack, but at once Uesugi corralled the nefarious creatures into the back where they ‘tweeted’ and ‘cheeped’ until their lungs were sore while the shiny eyed Uesugi and the formerly in peril stone owner devised contemptible ways to make them suffer…but they relented at the last second just as one of the rats screeched by; apparently made aware of the plot to capture all the escaped creatures. “Chotto! Matte!” yelled the Genin hoarsely as he crouched low with his bag and attempted to scoop the animal up…only to run beneath the skirt of a married woman only seeking to deliver fruits to her hubby.

“Eek!”

Now it became a question of moral character, what was more important: explaining to the nice young lady what had happened or catching the rat?

Scooping low he stretched out the final one yard between them and…yes! The little bugger squeaked within the bag as a sweaty Uesugi held the bag up to his head and tucked the lip into his belt as he eyed the village people slowly creeping towards him with grim expressions on his face, “Oh, right…that woman. Sorry!” he said with a smile, the kind that indicated he believed everything would work out if he only apologized. With that being taken care of, he literally skipped through the line of old man clutching their hoes and rakes like weapons on his way to completing his task…however grudgingly he’d accepted it in the first place.

Easily strolling through the streets he recanted the numbers to himself, “So I’ve got all the birds, I have one rat, and I still need to hunt down the dogs and cats and deliver them to that…*ahem*” Some things were better easier kept to oneself and the glaring single mothers eying on either side of the block did not make uttering the word in mind a good life option. Already at a trot he moved swiftly through the streets as another rat, this one dappled with black and white stripes scuttled from one end of the block to the other as if it were running a marathon. Unlike its animal counterparts, the creature hardly noticed the looming tower of human boy chum that greedily eyed him while it made its rounds and some might even have considered it a bit cruel the way that Uesugi snatched up the poor critter even as it squealed its protests which surely said ‘Let me go!’ or ‘I’m going to be the next Shunshin no Butler!’.

Everyone has dreams…

[R i k i c h i]

Just like that the birds and the rats had all been deposed off. Dangling upon the precipice of certain death in the small boy’s sash belt…or at least he controlled their fates to some exist while this mission ran its course. That being said, the weight of the small animals tugging against his being was no joke and despite his brave efforts people were suspecting that this ninja might be incompetent for the tiny plague that threatened their city; not that Kenchu actually cared what these people thought.

Ignoring the people churning past him with sidelong glances he tapped his chin even as he waddled in that lop sided gait that he had now adopted thanks to the new passengers of his transport service; the only consolation was the image that animals might be killing each other within the darkness of the sack…too bad all he could come up with were the respective species playing poker at a table while he suffered outside. Shunting the awkward image from mind was difficult, but soon he was wandering with a sand expression upon his face as he watched the sun setting over the horizon—and then it came to him!

Before the hour Uesugi was parading about covering in cat litter and dangling raw meat from either hand enough to smell something fierce to anyone who stepped within three feet of him. Of course, Gentarou and his posse of nerdlings were the first to step out of the shocked crowd goading him with raspberries and protruding tongues to make him wish he’d tossed them all in the trash can after attaining the sacks earlier, but all though harsh thoughts vanished when slowly four legged animals stepped from out of alleyways and from beneath carts. First timidly and then the yowling and barking of hunger replaced all trepidation the creatures scared as a toothily grinning as he bounced happily on either steps.

En route to a certain Mrs. Yamanagi’s house.

All the strays in the village limits had made a famished parade behind him and he hoped that he wouldn’t lose too many. Naturally his mission stated that he should bring back her pets and bring them back he would for among the grimy mammals following him there could be no doubt that the women’s domesticated monsters would be trailing mindlessly after the smell of fish and meat; how those two smelled nicely together the boy could not figure out. Soon he was knocking on his patron’s house with a happy smirk on her face as he stooped into a low crouch and released the rats and birds into her home first, which she seemed relatively pleased about…there was no suspicion even as her familiar pups jostled one another to enter her home before she muttered a paltry, “Thanks.” before moving to slam her door in his face,

“What?”
“Oh. Don’t forget about them.”
“Who?”

It was here that Mrs.Yamanagi made her deadly mistake for the hunched over hag opened her doorway wide and stepped out with those beady, evil eyes and hopped out with her gnarled tree branch of a cane to examine the ‘we’ that Kenchu was describing. Like the scene from a bad stampede the wild kittens, pups, and various assortments of creatures clamored into her home after catching a whiff of what appeared to be home cooking. Uesugi spared no words for the trampled old woman as she reached towards him, instead turning on his heel as fast as humanly could be managed and even adding over his shoulder as an afterthought,

“Please don’t forget to submit the report to the Mizukage’s office!!”