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Hey Toshi! Thanks for requesting for a tutor. Alright, since your experience says that you're relatively new, we'll start you off with a simple roleplay interaction and see where we need to go from there, alright? So, you just be your stone ninja, and I'll be a mentor-like figure. Don't try and impress, just write like you normally would! ***
"Takamura Toshi!" said the Jounin. He was a big man, nearly reaching seven feet tall, towering over the smaller shinobi. The man was ripped, having huge muscles and a large frame. The man was a taijutsu master, and a quite intimidating one at that. Dressed in all red, his garb nearly touched the floor. The forehead protector of the Village of Stone shone on his forehead.
The day was yet young, the sky a light blue and the sun barely peeking over the horizon. Birds chirped freely and the bustle of the city was heard in the background. A merchant's shouts, advertising his wares, was heard above all else.
"Tell me, young genin, why do you want to be a shinobi? What are your goals and aspirations? What do you fight for?"
[/color] the man said in a gruff voice. He looked at the younger shinobi expectantly, awaiting an answer...
First off, I’m so sorry for being so late I’ve been busy with multiple things lately and I haven’t had the time or energy to write a good rp post, and secondly I hope to have a good time rping with you. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The young Toshi Takamura strutted into the dojo with a focused look on his face, ready to face the day. Visiting the dojo was a common occurrence in Toshi’s daily life; he needed, like anyone else, to practice and get stronger. He set his tonfa and butt bag on a stool to the right of the entranceway. Toshi then took off his shoes and walked onto the dojo floor and began to start off with a few basic stretches, a few lunges, toe touches, and arm stretching and he was done. Like clockwork, the split second Toshi was finished his stretching a deep, powerful voice called his name.
Toshi looked around to see who was calling him. There was probably around five to six other people on the dojo but only one could have made that voice. A large, a very large jonin was standing in the back corner with his, arms crossed, staring at him. Only when Toshi was walking up to the jonin did he realize this man’s real height. For Toshi’s age he wasn’t small, heck, he was bigger than a good portion of adults, and he didn’t have to look up at people that often, but this man towered over the comparatively small genin. When he was finally in front of the jonin, he asked Toshi why he wanted to be a shinobi, what his goal were, and what he fights for. Toshi had never really given this any deep thought before. Being a shinobi was just the way it was for a long time, and his only goal was to get stronger and repay the village for taking him in. He gave the jonin the only answer he could give. “I want to be a shinobi to help the village, and protect it from all who might harm the people in it.”
Post by The Creator on Feb 28, 2012 18:00:18 GMT -7
First off, sorry for the wait, I get distracted easily. Haha. Anyways, there are a few things that I want to talk about your post.
First, it seemed that you decided to change the setting up on me. Although I did not specifically state where the jounin was, and where you were, one must try and guess as best as they can according to the OP. As this is not a battle thread, the OP (Original Poster) or (Thread Maker) gets to decide the setting and time of day. You can conclude from clues in context "sky of light blue", "birds chirping freely", but most importantly "the bustle of the city". This gives it away that we are outdoors. Although you changed it to the dojo, which is not a big deal and is expected of newcomers, try your best to stick to what the OP tried to make. Although it may be hard to decipher where you are exactly, just comment on how your character reacts to the details that the OP posted. (ie. the chirping birds, merchants' shouts, etc.)
Secondly is just a personal irk-ness. The answer that you gave, which is not wrong by any means and might define your character completely, is very...well...expected. It is a cookie-cut answer and I always try and inspire my students to have some individuality.
Also, make sure to post how your character looks. Although you might have an entire appearance section I could go off of, you might want to briefly touch on things that change often: clothes, hair, expression.
I'm going to continue the roleplay in the dojo, responding to your character's answer: ***
Kyouji Makazume looked upon Toshi as he gave his answer. The Jounin's face creased in moment of thoughtfulness and regard. His eyes looked over the genin, attempting to decipher the boy.
"That's what everyone says, boy! Why should I teach you the art of Muay Thai if I can grab Joe Blow off the street. What makes you different boy, what makes you you?" the Jounin said with passion and gruffness, not afraid to hurt the boy's feelings. The master of Muay Thai, sighed, realizing that the youth these days needed to be guided along a straight and narrow path. They needed to be pushed, pulled, forced, and the like. He would need to do just that right now.
"I'll start with myself, Toshi. Me, I became a ninja when I was yet a young boy, attempting to impress the ladies! I learned, however, in the process, that ladies are not the most important thing in life, Toshi, but just that. Life. For someone's life to be taken from them is the most unfair thing in the world, Toshi, so I strive to teach the youth self-defense so they might guard their life from those who might take it!" Makazume proclaimed, silencing the rabble amongst the other students.
"Now, I'll try again, boy: what do you fight for?"