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Post by The Creator on Feb 13, 2012 18:08:24 GMT -7
Hey Miharu, thanks for waiting so patiently. You said you wanted to work on everything a little bit, but I think it's best that we begin with grammar, at is the basis for every other aspect of writing.
So, go ahead and make a normal post. Don't try and impress, as that will not show your true problems. Also, make sure to read over your post after you have written it!
Post by ℳ i h a r u. ღ on Feb 17, 2012 14:39:39 GMT -7
[ No problem, I understand that things can pop up and that the site itself can just demand your attention. So it's all good. I appreciate the time given so here I go. Sorry in advance for the bad quality. ]
A sound of disgust was heard as the beeping of an alarm clock filled the air in the small, one bedroom apartment. In that very bedroom, a figure was rousing up from a fitful night's sleep. Covers shifted and a head peeked out from under the lace trimming. Eyes squinted to read the numbers lit up on the front of the beeping object. A slender arm reached over and slipped over the button, pushing it so that the sound turned off. The arm then retracted underneath the blanket as a sigh was heard. After a moment of stillness, the blue and white flower patterned cover was pushed towards the foot of the bed as the person who was previously resting rose up.
"Aaaah, morning already? Boo..."
Both arms reached upwards in a stretching manner as long tresses fell over the girl's shoulders and chest. Her back arched while her arms lowered, trying to get out the slight kink that she had developed as she slept during the night. Once done with that, she wiped at her eyes to prepare them before opening them to the light of the morning. Nobody likes to be blinded, especially upon waking up.
Post by The Creator on Feb 28, 2012 17:45:35 GMT -7
Miharu, I honestly cannot find a grammer error within that post. Albeit I am not saying that there is not one, I am just not saying that I am profecient enough in the English language to point out any fault that I have found.
Your writing is actually extremely good. You have a unique third-person observer point of view, which is actually a refreshing difference from the third-person follower.
In my opinion, you honestly don't need much work on grammer or writing. If you feel like you still are lacking, you are free to write up another, longer post and see if I can find anything there. But in my opinion, we should really move onto something else, as your grammer and writing are superb.
Is there something else you would like to work on? Interaction, fighting, training?