A Fanfiction Attempt
Nov 6, 2012 23:38:05 GMT -7
Post by chaoticthery on Nov 6, 2012 23:38:05 GMT -7
This is the beginning of a Fanfiction story that I want to write. Before I get any further I want to see how many writing style is like. Please give me some insight.
“Who the hell are you?” Naruto shouted as he pointed at the Grass-nin. He had just appeared on the branch next to Sasuke who was shaking in fear. Next to him was Sakura who looked like she was about to wet her pants. The Grass-nin appeared to be a girl and had a beige kimono on with a large purple rope holding it in place. He immediately noticed the vile chakra coming off of her as she spoke.
“Kukuku, and who might you be?” she said with a smirk on her face. He eyes kept darting back and forth between Sasuke and Naruto.
“Uzumaki Naruto, Believe it!” he shouted as he gave a thumbs up. Sasuke just shook his head at the antics of his teammate, while Sasuke was still frozen with fear.
'So that is the Nine Tails Jinchuriki.' the Grass-nin thought. 'I wonder if the rumors are true about his healing ability. Maybe he could survive my new seal. Kukukuku.' The Grass-nin reached up and pulled away he face revealing a very pale white face with purple around her eyes and yellow irises and a vertical slit for a pupil. “Well Naruto I am Orochimaru. Why don't you entertain me a bit.” he said. As soon as he finished he sentence he charged are Naruto and began to engage him in TaiJutsu. He easily overpowered the boy and kicked him off the branch causing him to land on the ground knocked out.
“Like the dobe could do anything anyways.” Sasuke said. “I am the rookie of the year, lets see you do that to me.” With out wasting any time he flashed through a series and handseals and put his pointer finger and thumb in front of his mouth in the form of a circle. “Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu.” he shouted. A huge ball of flame shout out and engulfed Orochimaru in flames. Once he stopped the Jutsu he saw a melting mud clone where Orochimaru was standing before.
Orochimaru walked out form behind a tree clapping. “Kukukuku, very good Sasuke.” he said. “To have already mastered that technique. I feel you have proved yourself to me. I will give you a gift before we part ways.” He head shot forward on a stretching neck and clamped down on the base of Sasuke's neck before he could do anything.
“NOOOOO!” Sakura shouted. “What did you do to my Sasuke-kun?” Before should could say anything else Orochimaru's body came forward and slammed a first into her face sending her flying into the tree behind her effectively knocking her out. Just as he was pulled his fangs out of Sasuke a shuriken sliced through the front of his next causing a shallow gash.
“Oh, so you want to play again do you?” Orochimaru mocked Naruto who was stand there hunched over.
“Never hurt my friends again. EVER!” Naruto shouted. Immediately a massive explosion of red chakra burst from his body encasing him in the demonic chakra as a tail started to bubble up and form behind him. He fangs slowly grew an inch and his finger and toenails extended and turned into claws. His whisker marks thickened and darkened slightly as two ears of red chakra extended from the top of his head. His eyes slowly opened up to reveal blood red irises with horizontal slits where his pupils used to be. “I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!” a deep demonic voice shouted.
He sprinted forward and slammed a fist into Orochimaru's face and then followed up with a kick to the stomach that sent him flying off the branch and onto another. Not wasting anytime he put his hands together to form a cross with his pointer and middle finger of each hand. “Kage Bushin no Jutsu!” he shouted and 10 copies of Naruto appeared next to him, with all the changes except for the red chakra cloak that currently surrounded him. “ATTACK” he shouted. All 10 clones plus the original charged at Orochimaru with kunai's out.
Once the clones got halfway Orochimaru shouted. “Sen'ei Tajashu .” 10 Snakes shot out of his sleeve and bit each of the clones dispelling them all. With only the original left he simply kicked Naruto in the side of the head sending him flying.
Naruto sneered at Orochimaru as he landed on the side of a tree and threw several shuriken. Without wasting anytime he ran through a series of hand seals and shouted “Fuuton – Daitoppa!” A huge blast of air followed the shuriken propelling them even faster and embedding themselves into Orochimaru, which turned into another mud clone.
“Very good.” Orochimaru said. “And I see that you have absolutely no injures on you. It seems your healing ability is rather impressive...” Before he could finish his speech Naruto was in his face throwing punches and kicks with little to no style. With the added spead boost of Kyuubi's chakra naruto was fast, but no where near as fast as the snake sage. With little effort Orochimaru turned the tables very easily landing a flurry of combs sending Naruto into the tree behind him. The tree had several cracks around Naruto's body where he landed, but he was still standing and his wounds started to heal at a fast rate.
Orochimaru was growing tired of this charade and threw 4 kunai which pegged Naruto's arms at feet to the tree. He then opened his mouth and a snake popped out and out of the snakes mouth a sword appeared and extended and pierced Naruto in the chest nicking his heart.
Naruto just hung there appearing to be dead when his world started to shake and then...Drip, Drip, Drip.
He opened his eyes to see a large sewer with ankle deep water. What confused him even more was the fact that he was perfectly fine. He look at his hands and there was just smooth skin. Stunned he zipped down his jump suit and looked at his chest. There was no wound... 'What the hell is going on.' he thought.
In the darkness in front of him he heard a maniacal laughter that seemed to start as soon as he thought about what was going on. “Come child. We have much to discuss.” the voice said.
Letting his curiosity get the better of him and began to walk forward. After a minute he appeared in a large room with sewer pipes on the wall and a massive gate with a piece of paper in the middle that had the word 'Seal' on it. Now completely confused he walked forward more so he was in the center of the room. The first thing he noticed were the sewer pipes. There were three large ones running around the walls. One was blue, one red, and one was white. Suddenly two massive red orbs appeared in front of him behind the gate. “Who's there?” he asked.
“Kukukuku, you still do not know who I am?” the voice asked. “Who do you think healed you all those times, why do you think the villagers hate you so much, and why is that you hear whispers every once in a while?” The voice stopped seeming to wait for an answer.
“I...I don't know.” Naruto said. “I always thought I just was special and the villagers always call me demo.....” Naruto immediately stopped talking hoping, praying, that the voice wasn't what he thought it was.
“Who the hell are you?” Naruto shouted as he pointed at the Grass-nin. He had just appeared on the branch next to Sasuke who was shaking in fear. Next to him was Sakura who looked like she was about to wet her pants. The Grass-nin appeared to be a girl and had a beige kimono on with a large purple rope holding it in place. He immediately noticed the vile chakra coming off of her as she spoke.
“Kukuku, and who might you be?” she said with a smirk on her face. He eyes kept darting back and forth between Sasuke and Naruto.
“Uzumaki Naruto, Believe it!” he shouted as he gave a thumbs up. Sasuke just shook his head at the antics of his teammate, while Sasuke was still frozen with fear.
'So that is the Nine Tails Jinchuriki.' the Grass-nin thought. 'I wonder if the rumors are true about his healing ability. Maybe he could survive my new seal. Kukukuku.' The Grass-nin reached up and pulled away he face revealing a very pale white face with purple around her eyes and yellow irises and a vertical slit for a pupil. “Well Naruto I am Orochimaru. Why don't you entertain me a bit.” he said. As soon as he finished he sentence he charged are Naruto and began to engage him in TaiJutsu. He easily overpowered the boy and kicked him off the branch causing him to land on the ground knocked out.
“Like the dobe could do anything anyways.” Sasuke said. “I am the rookie of the year, lets see you do that to me.” With out wasting any time he flashed through a series and handseals and put his pointer finger and thumb in front of his mouth in the form of a circle. “Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu.” he shouted. A huge ball of flame shout out and engulfed Orochimaru in flames. Once he stopped the Jutsu he saw a melting mud clone where Orochimaru was standing before.
Orochimaru walked out form behind a tree clapping. “Kukukuku, very good Sasuke.” he said. “To have already mastered that technique. I feel you have proved yourself to me. I will give you a gift before we part ways.” He head shot forward on a stretching neck and clamped down on the base of Sasuke's neck before he could do anything.
“NOOOOO!” Sakura shouted. “What did you do to my Sasuke-kun?” Before should could say anything else Orochimaru's body came forward and slammed a first into her face sending her flying into the tree behind her effectively knocking her out. Just as he was pulled his fangs out of Sasuke a shuriken sliced through the front of his next causing a shallow gash.
“Oh, so you want to play again do you?” Orochimaru mocked Naruto who was stand there hunched over.
“Never hurt my friends again. EVER!” Naruto shouted. Immediately a massive explosion of red chakra burst from his body encasing him in the demonic chakra as a tail started to bubble up and form behind him. He fangs slowly grew an inch and his finger and toenails extended and turned into claws. His whisker marks thickened and darkened slightly as two ears of red chakra extended from the top of his head. His eyes slowly opened up to reveal blood red irises with horizontal slits where his pupils used to be. “I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!” a deep demonic voice shouted.
He sprinted forward and slammed a fist into Orochimaru's face and then followed up with a kick to the stomach that sent him flying off the branch and onto another. Not wasting anytime he put his hands together to form a cross with his pointer and middle finger of each hand. “Kage Bushin no Jutsu!” he shouted and 10 copies of Naruto appeared next to him, with all the changes except for the red chakra cloak that currently surrounded him. “ATTACK” he shouted. All 10 clones plus the original charged at Orochimaru with kunai's out.
Once the clones got halfway Orochimaru shouted. “Sen'ei Tajashu .” 10 Snakes shot out of his sleeve and bit each of the clones dispelling them all. With only the original left he simply kicked Naruto in the side of the head sending him flying.
Naruto sneered at Orochimaru as he landed on the side of a tree and threw several shuriken. Without wasting anytime he ran through a series of hand seals and shouted “Fuuton – Daitoppa!” A huge blast of air followed the shuriken propelling them even faster and embedding themselves into Orochimaru, which turned into another mud clone.
“Very good.” Orochimaru said. “And I see that you have absolutely no injures on you. It seems your healing ability is rather impressive...” Before he could finish his speech Naruto was in his face throwing punches and kicks with little to no style. With the added spead boost of Kyuubi's chakra naruto was fast, but no where near as fast as the snake sage. With little effort Orochimaru turned the tables very easily landing a flurry of combs sending Naruto into the tree behind him. The tree had several cracks around Naruto's body where he landed, but he was still standing and his wounds started to heal at a fast rate.
Orochimaru was growing tired of this charade and threw 4 kunai which pegged Naruto's arms at feet to the tree. He then opened his mouth and a snake popped out and out of the snakes mouth a sword appeared and extended and pierced Naruto in the chest nicking his heart.
Naruto just hung there appearing to be dead when his world started to shake and then...Drip, Drip, Drip.
He opened his eyes to see a large sewer with ankle deep water. What confused him even more was the fact that he was perfectly fine. He look at his hands and there was just smooth skin. Stunned he zipped down his jump suit and looked at his chest. There was no wound... 'What the hell is going on.' he thought.
In the darkness in front of him he heard a maniacal laughter that seemed to start as soon as he thought about what was going on. “Come child. We have much to discuss.” the voice said.
Letting his curiosity get the better of him and began to walk forward. After a minute he appeared in a large room with sewer pipes on the wall and a massive gate with a piece of paper in the middle that had the word 'Seal' on it. Now completely confused he walked forward more so he was in the center of the room. The first thing he noticed were the sewer pipes. There were three large ones running around the walls. One was blue, one red, and one was white. Suddenly two massive red orbs appeared in front of him behind the gate. “Who's there?” he asked.
“Kukukuku, you still do not know who I am?” the voice asked. “Who do you think healed you all those times, why do you think the villagers hate you so much, and why is that you hear whispers every once in a while?” The voice stopped seeming to wait for an answer.
“I...I don't know.” Naruto said. “I always thought I just was special and the villagers always call me demo.....” Naruto immediately stopped talking hoping, praying, that the voice wasn't what he thought it was.
