Spare Rib Fornication [Travel]

[Spamato]

This is fucking boring. Even for a guy that can't express emotions this was easy. All the evidence was present. Dull endless landscape. It was a desert….sand.. dunes...sand....sand...sky...a cloud...sun...more fucking sand. Next is what exactly he was doing in this desert. Come on guess, it's not hard I will even give you time. Yeah that’s right walking, a shame his ninja training heavily discourages distractions like reading. Although he did doubt a AssHole is going to fry on the cracked earth all day just to jump a ninja of no importance. Sometimes he really wondered why he became a ninja. He wasn't to good at it really. The pay on the other hand was supposed to be really good later on. Reason enough to stay.

He had been walking a while now and getting tired. The sun was do to set in about four hours. His mission involved helping a marathon runner stay alive. Yeah because marathons are important to ninjas. Since a leaf ninja would be assigned to protect the other he assumed that his runner somehow helped Suna. With this in mind he should probably cripple the other guy. "Yeah, ripping the feet off the other runner sounds good." Pulling a kunai out he began cleaning his nails. Looking up at the sky about three hours passed, Just one more hour until break time. Yawning he put his kunai away and picked up his pace walking, the sooner he got out of the desert the better.

[Sundown]

Having about ten minutes of daylight left he sat right down and fished through his bag of rations. Pulling out on of the bars he eyed it suspiciously. "You where a mere 2 Ryo...that’s a high chance of you being soileint green." Unwrapping the thin foil he took a cautious bite and almost gagged, "Soileint green." Finishing the bar made of orphans he clutched the bag to his stomach and drifted a sleep. That night he had a dream, a strange dream like a prophecy of some sort. He was eating some cheap cup noodles at his parent's house when a giant piece of spare rib appeared. On thing lead to another and he slept with it...then he called it a whore once he saw bit marks and the rib left while on fire. Waking up the next morning he wondered what the hell kind of events shaped that.

Time passed and the landscape shifted, by noon Takeda found him self in Fire country.

[Axcel]

Moved

[Spamato]

Trees where wonderful tools for ninja. You get to jump on them, look kind of cool, avoid civilians, and get to where your going faster. Of course you need to break more often but it is at least less boring. Climbing a tree at random he sat on a sturdy branch and pulled out his basic geography map. He need to made a "U" to reach the tea country plateau. Head east, hook south and keep going until you see the tea capital. Taking a look at the compass he scratched a small arrow into the bark of the tree and put his map away. He arrived in the dense forest of fire at roughly 6pm, he needed a nap before he got on his way. Traveling at night would be better cover as well. Unlike Suna any common criminal can survive and hide effectively in a forest.

Pulling a "Soilient Green Value Bar" from his paper bag he choked it down and took the last sip of water from his canteen. He drank a little to much while in the desert. He searched for his Suna head band and relaxed some when he found it still in his back pocket. Stretching he settled against the hard branch and covered his body in his traveling cloak. Last thing he needed was to be eaten by alive by bugs. On the brink of snoring his dreams returned.

Takeda sat playing cards with a giant Anthropomorphic work boot and doing badly. After losing the last of his chips to the boot Takeda groaned and punched a nearby kitten-pixie in the spleen. The boot pulled a switch blade and quoted deliverance before jumping on top of Takeda and ripping his inards out. After the boot left with his left testicle, two feet of appendix, and his kidneys the spare rib that cheated on him for a nibbler returned with a sawed off shot gun. "No Suzy no!" but it was to late the Rib fired and Takeda awoke with a frenzied shout.

"What the f**k...Christ what the f**k?!" Distressed over the dream he jumped to the next perch and high tailed it to tea. He would not sleep for two days and refused to eat. That promiscuous piece of Rib scared the shit out of him.

[Yun.]

Lol.

Moved.

[Spamato]

"This was an intelligence failure of massive proportions!" Said the German Anthropomorphic work boot. Throwing the track baton against the wall it burst into flames. "Dude...lets like lobotomize that sea turtle." Suggested the pot-smoking Anthropomorphic flip flop. All the while Takeda the sea turtle fought for his life, bobbing and weaving his way into Steve’s guard. "Sea turtle Dempsey roll!" Dispatching Steve he took his victory lap. Without warning the ring collapsed and he fell into a blender.

"Gah!" Waking up with cold sweat on his brow he found it was night fall already. The mission was a failure due to a cancellation of the running event. He wasn't sure if it he would get paid or not but getting home was the number on priority. "These dreams are getting pretty odd." Splitting the foil on a ration bar he took a large bite. Now used to the taste he took his breakfast while jumping from branch to branch. With the forest shrouded in darkness he strained to see each on coming branch, loosing his footing every so often. Either way his fear of sleeping kept him awake far to long since he got to tea and the debt needed to be paid before he set out home. Finishing the bar he tossed the foil wrapper away carelessly. In his current "mood" he would kill any anti-litter or anti-ninja that tracked him down because of it.

Now as sunrise approached he was amazed how small tea country really was. In the span of 10 hours easy pace set him near the border that is leaf country. Atleast that was his guess. There where no real markers for fire country borders in the area. His guess was based on the map, his relative speed, and hours traveled. And according to that he would be in fire within one hour. Taking yet another bar from the paper bag he noticed only two remained. Removing the last to bars he stashed them in his back pocket along side his headband. With the empty bag he simply tossed it aside, littering was great. Ten minutes to his estimated arrival in fire.

[adero]

moved.

[Spamato]

Another indicator your in leaf is also the humidity. Amongst all the thriving greenery it really gave Takeda's lungs a beating. Suna might not be much but it is a pretty good place to sprint. With noon approaching he estimated he would arrive at wind country in 24 hours. Less time than it took to get to tea due to an easier path found. He could even tell it was popular by fellow ninja, the bark on the branches where almost stripped clean from abuse. Since it was such a beaten path he figured it safe enough to travel in day light. Worst case scenario he be stopped by ANBU for stupid questions. With his sides beginning to cramp he kept his tempo, knowing if he rested he would not be starting any time soon.


Night fell and Takeda made sure to wrap him self in his cloak tightly. Resting on a wide branch he drifted to sleep.

Takeda the brave boxing box turtle ventured on, a manly blender scar on his left cheek. He was on a mission to win the turtle world title boxing match. His opponent was none other than the famous Heero sea turtle. Born with flippers of punching precision Heero climbed to the top quickly. Takeda the boxing turtle shook his head and cleared his head of doubt, he would defe-

Waking up abruptly he realized the sun has yet to rise. Not really to troubled with the dream he let his eyes close and he continued to dream.

"WE CAN HEAR YOU STEVE!" Takeda sat tied up in a chair, the ball peen hammer edging closer to his nads. "Steve?" He was getting scared. His tormentor removed his mask to reveal he was none other that that wh0re piece of spare rib.

"Jebus Chrysler..." Taking deep breaths he let his head roll back. "Get out of my head for the love of god." Downing a ration bar he sprinted ahead without stretching. Fear is what drove him back to his home land.

[fina]

MOVED