attempt number a billion and five

[Hitora Ryunobu (Uchiha)]

Name: Okuda, Hitora, Tanaka, Nick, that one guy over there

Age: 23

Gender: Male

Desired Position: Assistant

Experience

Role-Play Experience and/or Event

• Teaching a Pupil (as Okuda)
• Corridor J (As Hitora)
• Room 19 (as Hitora)
• Investigation extraordinaire (as Okuda)
• Travelling home In Suspense (as Hitora)

Additional CommentsI know I've applied more times than there are numbers known, but I figured I should try again.  By now most staff know my story so there is no need for me to reiterate the well known information. Yes, I know not much helping recently but anyone who knows me knows I am more than capable of helping.

[N A T S U M I]

Well your persistent, I’ll give you that XD.
Alright, question time!
I would like for you to grade this bio for me to the best of your ability.

Basic Information

Name: Meredith Hyuuga
Bloodlimit: Hyuuga
Height: 5.7
Weight: 60 pounds
Age: 11
Gender: Female
Alignment: Ghaotic Good
Birth Country: Tsuki no Kuni
Village: Otogakure
Special:

Weapons

Primary Weapon:

Secondary Items:

Non-Weapon Items

Character Depth

Personality:

Appearance:

Background:

Techniques:

Good luck!

[Hitora Ryunobu (Uchiha)]

Name: fine, however a Japanese style first name is preferred and suggested.

Bloodlimit: fine (if evidence that they've been permitted to make a Hyuuga is presented)

Height: Please place in Inches and Feet or Centimeters/Meters

Weight: Illogically small for any human being age 11 and standing at 5 foot

Gender: Fine

Alignment: Not one of our Alignments, please view HERE for one of our usable alignments.

Birth Country: Fine

Village: Fine

Special: I suggest marking any items below you wish to go into in the future as such with [future] or some such marking, but continuing on!

-Cannot be both Uchiha AND Hyuuga at the same time, unless they are only seeking the Uchiha clan Uni. Techs, in which case specification would be nice and would be preferred.

-In order to have Sand Release you must have Earth and Wind Releases.

-In order to have Wood Release you must have Earth and Water Releases.

-Ice is fine as is, both prerequisite releases have been met.

--If you wish to continue to have Sand and Wood releases at start, I suggest you replace Lightning with Earth Release as that will allow you to have the others.

-Fighting Styles:

--Brawler: requires you be a Taijutsu Specialist or Master to use. Either remove or change.

--Ake Sune/Red Leg: Requires cooking skill, not allowed to use hand-based fighting styles.

---Please remove Buredono Kenseijin, Kumotate and Brawler if you wish to have this.

--Kumotate: Requires Taijutsu Specialist at the minimum.

-Genjutsu Perceptions: No issues

-Weapons: Please list the amount of money spent on each item.

--Primary Weapons: No issues, you have 3,000 ryo left to spend in this category if you wish to use it now you can however it will not transfer over after approval.

--Secondary Weapons: Please list the amount of each you would like.

--Non-Weapon Items: Fine, but suggested you take at least ONE item holder as stated in the character submissions thread to carry items but not required.

-Personality: Fine

-Appearance: Two more Paragraphs is needed for your Hyuuga status.

-Background: Unfortunately, this is a new character and likely not a scrap of an old (unless sufficient information is provided later) that means you are not eligible for Chuunin status making most of your background non-existent as it cannot have happened yet, please revise accordingly.

-Techniques:
--Figment Perception - Fine
--Glamour Perception - Fine
--Will of Men - Fine
--Abel Learner - Fine

--

--Silent Image - Fine
--Byakugan - Fine
--Keen Sight - Fine
--Telescopic Eye - Fine

---

List of useful links to read:

• Character Submissions info
• Alignments
  
• Specialists Information
  
• Ninjutsu Index
  
• Taijutsu Index
  
• Genjutsu Index
  

PLEASE NOTE - for the sake of this test I assumed that all necessary overview information was provided, if it is not please note that I would make mention of that where needed.  Also please forgive any bluntness on my part, it is 6:09 am at the time I am writing this and I would of course be much more kind and such when writing to a real player using examples and such from their bio and not be as blunt as this is.

Also, please note that in a real situation, with a real profile I would be more thorough and able to provide better critiques on a number of things besides the very basic information here since I'd be able to refer back to specific sections and point out where more information is needed in say a background or personality or appearance and what not, so I hope that you do not hold that against me.

[|Ayame Unbound|]

You should absolutely be just as specific in this and just as kind as you would be.

There is no preference for Japanese names at all.

There is also no marked point here if this is a Main House or not. If not main house the Seal is needed. If going for Main House they would need to be told to contact me.

Alignment could very well just be a typo of Chaotic good.

Proof of the previous character is needed as well for Hyuuga.

Able learner also has a typo in it which should be fixed.

Also I would like to see posts of actually helping. Knowing you are capable of helping and willing to help are very different. And your application... it feels like you're going through the motions. Put some actual effort into this. If you want it, show us you want it. Not just going to do it and have a 'whatever' attitude.

Gotta say 1/2.

[Tieren]

2/2 denied