Hamura Out

[Hamura]

So to paint the one who bothers to read this a picture, i've been considering either leaving or taking some time off for quite a while now. Ever since I got sick and had to leave for two months, the urge to actually write had been receding as it felt like the wise choice to focus on getting better before i'd go about doing stuff again. 

When I got back however, it turned out that most of everything that I had been working on had effectively shut down, that the people I had actively been talking to and had plans to RP with had just up and left and that aside from training and rounding up TP because of it was just about the only thing i've ever really been working on. 

Because I joined Sand at the time with a bunch of other people, and we had created a pretty active community, I had hoped that that would still be standing by the time I got back, because two months really isn't all that long. So you can imagine that it was rather disheartening when literally everyone disappeared aside from Flower, Snow and Star. But with Star not really doing much anymore due to some other RP site and work, Snow having trouble pushing anything through for Suna in terms of Events, me being barred from events because Snow and Shango have beef and Flower being up to stuff that doesn't really include Sand people - good aligned characters, that pretty much meant that there wasn't much left for me there. 

So I went and started RPing with other people outside of Sand, and while i've enjoyed RPing with Loki, Emi and Shin, things either taking a backseat, being slowed down or just not really progressing (in part because I just can't seem to bring up a post I actually like) haven't done much to improve my mood. While i've been trying to take it away from the site by not snapping at people, I feel that it has reached the point where I just don't feel it anymore. 

I really enjoy writing with Hamura, but because I feel like everything I do isn't working up to anything in the future and barely does anything to develop my character aside from just rounding up more TP, it's all just become some pointless chore where I need to write a post just so other people won't have to wait to get their shit just because i'm being lazy about it. But yeah, with all of Ham's personal plot stuff either being on hold or being dropped during the period in which I was sick, I just don't feel like I have a purpose being here anymore.



So whether this will be a flat-out leaving thread or a note for people so as to let them know i'll not be around as often isn't something i'm certain of, though I guess time will tell. 

[j]

No offense bro, because I get it. Having no muse sucks. PLUS you got fuckin abandoned by the exodus of scrubs that went to sand when snow got kage. That's pretty terrible. You feel like all you've been doing is training aimlessly and you're runnin on empty.

BUT at the same time. Pull your fuckin teddybear panties UP bro. You should know by now that you can't depend on SHIT if you wanna get your rp done. EEEEVERRRR.

Nobody ever sticks around when you want them to, nobody ever DOES what you want them to, and people fight. It's ultra dumb but it's true. If you want plots and shit you gotta do all that thinking and writing yourself. Depend on NOBODY. Plan all the shit as if nobody's gonna be there, but still make it incredible cause you're a good writer and you can do that shit.

Invite everybody and if they wanna come, they will. In fact I'm sure they will. You just gotta go get it done, mayn.

Hope you stick around Ham, you're cool.

- Jay

[Ryutatsu "Sakurai Sword"]

Hope you stick around Ham and I too understand the point your making. (Basically similar thing happen to me except no absence.) Instead of worrying about TP and the chore get back to basics of story and it might help. Right now I am rebuilding my sub plots just at a slow pace to encourage that muse. Good luck, man.

[Master Game]

I... don't get it. I do understand however, that one's motivation to write starts waning after something like a two-month hiatus which was because of your illness. Yeah, a lot of sandies left and/or grew inactive for various reasons during that time, even I for a period of time went on hiatus to focus on my studies. We DID have a really big and active community "back in the day", and you're not the only one wishing things were still like that. I had organised a three-way sparring match with Masar, Eiju and my character before they suddenly jumped bus and disappeared. Hell, there was even this Order of the Ancient Ones event in Kaze no Kuni I was involved in that disappointingly grew stale and I stopped receiving notifications/messages about.

Shit like this hits people hard and I get, but why are you still complaining about it? As far as i'm concerned, Snow's done what he can. Dude made so many fucking missions and a ton of events that are still in review, if anything he's the one suffering the most about all this.

For me it sucks realising all this, because nowadays all I'm online for is to GM and push out some more training posts. But I've realised that's not what i joined Suna for. Couple days ago I went and asked Snow about letting me help further the village plot and do my bit and he was cool with it, allowed me to handle missions and events that could further the village plot in whatever way.

"Activity comes and goes but the general trend is that if you are active, activity will find you."

Quoted from Snow's words. Yeah, we are like what, four people in sand, but you know what? That's still more than some villages out there. There are still opportunities to build plot for Hamura and find your muse once more.

Jay's partially right, but you don't have to do EVERYTHING yourself. Need a specific mission or event created to further Hamura's personal plot? I'm a fucking GM who's in your village. Need someone to start some character-developing roleplay with? Bruh, I have a flipping character in sand who already fucking knows yours! I'm quite surprised that you've never once simply bothered to ask or even talk to me if you were having these kinds of issues. I'm the type of guy that if I wasn't busy, and anyone just came up and asked me to make an event solely for their character to further personal plot as well as gain something they wanted as a reward, I'd do it. I've done it before believe it or not. But whatever, Shoko's name was probably lost among those who left the site to you.

It's truly sad to see you acting like an old man who can no longer walk. A wise man once told me if you don't have something, you simply don't want it enough. If this character of yours, Hamura, really has some juice left in the tank, then I urge you to try harder to look for opportunities to bolster him and get involved in interesting plots. Otherwise, it's been a nice run, good luck in your future endeavours.

[Deleted]

Clarification: Me and Snow don't have beef, i just don't have tact sometimes. You weren't barred from an event due to that - an event that didn't concern you in the first place, that I asked for help from specific villagers from which yours wasn't included in - you didn't get to participate in the first stages of something because I saw no reason to arbitrarily include areas that didn't fit specific guidelines Id already laid out.

If plot you had in mind doesn't work out, make a new one. If the group you wanted to be active with bails on you, find a new one. if you lose your way, find it again. Adapt. Overcome. Continue.

Hope you overcome this. I had plans to do my Hunter Exam with you and get some story cooked up.

If you back out on me, I will kill others in your place to sate my anger.

[Deleted]

I know what you're going through. Don't get too worked up over Gm's not including you on things, especially the newer ones who need to figure things out. We can work on making things to give your character a sense of purpose if you'd like and I'm actively trying to come up with fixes to help get a golden standard for GMs to work with. Like even heero said he was impressed with the handbook so far. Gm's like telling stories and players like to participate in them, we often just have problems when one side wants more control then the otherside wants to give. We should be fine and we have some events coming down the ropes. Flower and Cristoff are running missions you could join them if you like. They do need a chuunin.  

I hit the same wall you did and my best advice to you is simply to stop being so conservative with your character. Once you hit a certain level of mass on the site you really should just be focusing on the things that sound like fun to you and cut out the people and things that cause you any hardship. Because if you don't eventually you are just gonna hit a point where you go... 

"To what end am I doing all this work for?" 

Its a hard question to answer. What interests you as a player? What ideas did you have for your characters plot? What great evil needs to be slain? 

Eventually you recognize the site only has one purpose and thats to fight boredom. If you can't find a way to have fun doing what you're doing ask yourself what factors specifically are bothering you and make changes to your RP. Maybe have Hamura go on a alignment change via some plot point. Go start trouble in other villages. Pull and Isley and just murder everything in site. 

Maybe fallback more on the staff side of things. You can could always help me with projects. Maybe come up with some event ideas for yourself and get people involved with them kinda like what Loki is doing.