Untitled (1-4)

[Tekato Shimura]

Here are the first 4 chapters of some writing ive done. I havent titled it and im not sure if i will title because i havent found a fitting title yet. just something ive been working on for a little while. Its not based in the naruto universe so if thats what your looking for go else where, but id appreciate some feed back if anyone decides to read it

[Tekato Shimura]

Chapter 1
A man in a long black trench coat, dark shoulder length hair, and a black brimmed hat, that was at an angle so his eyes were hidden was in a grove of trees. It was mid fall, and the leaves were at the peak of their color change before they turned to the unattractive brown. The leaves were falling from every tree. It was as if it was snowing beautifully colored flat snowflakes. The sight was almost unreal. Brilliant reds, pinks, and oranges fluttered about him. Many rested on the brim of his hat. He was thinking this was the pinnacle of beauty, natural beauty. He wanted this moment in time, this small, little point in time, this snap shot, to never leave, for it to last… forever. There is no way to describe desire of this man for this moment to last. He knew though, that it would not. Leaves do not fall forever. They hit the ground and wilt into a disgusting brown. For a moment he nearly got himself to believe that it would last. He stood straight, looking forward as if he was seeing through reality. Though his face was emotionless, he appreciated the beauty. It sustained him, he felt at peace.

“Nothing is-“ He muttered, but was cut off as disappointment struck. A loud shattering sound struck in an instant, as if a large glass wall had been shattered by a baseball. The leaves, the trees, the raw smell of a fall forest, the essence of beauty, shattered in the generic manner that glass would, as if the sound he heard conformed to the visual he saw. The shards faded away nearly as fast as they were created. It seemed as though his cut off statement became true- nothing became.

[Tekato Shimura]

Chapter 2
A gunshot thundered through a silent town. There was a boy looking to be about 16 years of age, brown hair, blue eyes, pale skin, and very average looking frantically sprinting down the street. “JOHN!!!” He screamed. He turned a sharp left across the yard of a suburban looking house. He crossed to the other side of the house and to another street. He ran to the middle of the street and anxiously looked to the left. There was nothing out of the ordinary. The usual suburban style houses that all looked the same, aside from the few decorations in the yards which were placed by owners who needed to identify their houses as their own or perhaps wanted to extend beyond the world of sameness that they lived in, were patiently waiting for change.

He quickly turned around to scan the other end of the street. There lied a body of a boy about his age. He immediately started sprinting toward the body. The town was completely empty, it was around 6 o’clock in the afternoon, the sun was still up, but the clouds might start reflecting colors soon enough. He neared the boy who, it now was visible, had black hair and was lying faces down. “JOHN!” The boy cried. Tears were starting to swell in his eyes. There was a gash across John’s back, a splatter of blood 5 feet away, and a pool of blood that was beginning to gather around John’s body. He also noticed a silver handgun about a foot away from John’s right hand. He flipped john onto his back. John was pale skinned, had short black hair, looked emotionless, eyes closed, blood trailed from the side of his mouth and nose. His nose was shaped strangely; he must have fallen and broken it. Like the boy, John looked very ordinary. No remarkable features. He was breathing very faintly. He opened his eyes to see the boy who had turned him over. His remarkable feature was his eyes. He had purple eyes. He spit some blood out, letting it splatter on parts of his mouth and black t-shirt. “…Noah…” He looked into Noah’s pale blue eyes.

Noah had tears streaming down his cheeks. “No… John… how did this…” He was barely able to articulate.

“Noah…” John was having trouble forming words. He said nothing else, his body went limp and his face blankly faced the sky.

Noah, still crouched over John’s lifeless corpse, proceeded to turn around and vomit on the ground. Noah was in such a daze, and had no idea what was going on. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend what had just happened; then, after a minute of vomiting, and another minute of pointless empty stomach gagging, he was able to get himself to his feet and look around. He realized maybe whoever did this could still be around. His vision was blurred, he tried looking around, and all he could get were the vague shapes of houses and cars before he fainted.

[Tekato Shimura]

Chapter 3
Noah woke; he was on the ground facing down the street away from where he thought John’s body was. He opened his eyes and as his vision cleared, he made out the image of a person, what looked to be a man. He was wearing peculiar clothes; it reminded him of an outlaw from an old western film. The man was wearing a long black coat and a black hat. He was standing very menacingly about 200 feet down the road. His arms rested at his sides, his hat tilted down so his eyes were covered. The scene was surreal. Wind was blowing vigorously. The sky was a dark gray, giving everything a bluish gray tone, whites of houses became dark grays, yellows became a darker tan, and even the grass in the lawns turned to an almost black dark green. The man’s coat and hair blew to one side. It was something straight out of Hollywood. The wind was cold; everything seemed to give him the chills, just looking at this menacing figure made him shiver.

Noah attempted to get up; all he knew is that he didn’t want to be lying down with the unknown figure watching him. He got up, but was unable to move his feet. His legs went numb, every inch of his body shivered with anxiety, fear, and just sheer coldness because of the freezing wind. He felt himself breathing, it was all he could do, in… out… in… out… it was terrifyingly loud. Every breath was amplified and became the only sound he could hear. He reluctantly moved his eyes about, being too afraid to move his head. He wasn’t even thinking about John anymore. He was afraid his own life was about to end.

The man, after standing completely still for a whole 5 minutes, began walking in Noah’s direction at a steady pace. Just the first movement of his left leg startled him. Noah was a deer in the headlights. He wanted so bad to just start running in the other direction. He could not. Noah’s breathing was over riding every other sound that should have been heard. He saw trees blowing violently in the wind, but no sound of leaves rustling could be heard. However, the man’s footsteps could be heard, and they were as eerie as the scene itself. Every time his boots had hit the ground the tap created echoed through his brain.

It felt like an eternity for the man to reach him, like the man was doing a moonwalk. Eventually eternity was met and the man stopped about 10 feet from Noah and reached into his right coat pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He held it in his left hand, and with his right, he reached into the other pocket and pulled out a modern looking silver pistol. He laid the paper on the ground and set the pistol on top of the paper, keeping it from flying away.

Noah was speechless, but fear was beginning to leave him, which puzzled him. The man had just pulled a gun out of his coat.

The man stood facing Noah for about 2 seconds and lifted his hand in the shape of a gun and pretended to shoot Noah in the head, then the man turned around, immediately after, and everything was encompassed in darkness.

[Tekato Shimura]

Chapter 4
Noah wearily opened his eyes, but they were strained by the glaring sun coming out of what he recognized as his bedroom window. Immediately, he threw down the shades to block out the sunlight. He gathered his thoughts and came to a relieving revelation: He was in his bedroom! What happened? Nothing is making sense… How did I end up here? Was it only a dream? It was so real though; it couldn’t have been… Thoughts raced through his mind. He sat at the edge of his bed hunched over and fingers digging into the few inches of hair he had. As an afterthought, he wondered what it would be like to have hair 15 inches long so he could just rip it out when he was frustrated. The frustrated stance he was taking was proving inefficient. He sat up and took a deep breath, and looked around. White walls…Windows… A gray strewn about comforter on bed… Fan… closet... everything seemed ordinary. He took his cell phone out to check the time and date, it was 1:13 in the afternoon on March 4th, 2010. He was missing school, but let out a sigh of relief and smirked to himself because of it. Looks like I overslept a snow day he thought, thinking this could be the only reason for his mom not waking him up. He apparently slept in his jeans and t-shirt, which was not odd to him because he did not care what he wore to bed. Noah walked out of his room and took a right down the hall, and walked down a gray carpeted stairway leading to a small carpeted foyer where the front door was that no one used. The front door was out of the way from the driveway; almost everyone uses the side door near the garage. He often questioned its reason to exist past being a visual asthetic to the front of the house. No one seemed to be home, his Mom must have been away getting groceries and his Dad was always at work. He had the moderately sized, 5 bedroom home to himself. He took out his phone and went through the contacts. He skipped to the J’s and got to John Harper. He sent a text saying “hey you up yet?”. He walked into the kitchen and opened his refrigerator and took out some milk and fixed himself some corn flakes. There was never any flavored cereal in his house, it was always deemed too expensive for his dad and too unhealthy for his mom. He sat down at the kitchen table. He faced window that looked out onto his street; after putting a spoonful of tasteless flakes in his mouth, he looked outside while he was chewing. It wasn’t snowing, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and in fact there wasn’t any snow on the ground at all. He immediately pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed his mom’s number. As each ring passed anxiety grew bigger. He heard “Hey Jan can’t pick up the phone right- “ He slammed his phone shut and went to John’s name again and this time called him. Ring…ring…ring…ring… no one answered. He shut the phone at “Hey it-“ when the voicemail came on. He called his dad, and again, no one answered. He was fearful for what might have happened to John. Maybe it wasn’t a dream. He went back upstairs and grabbed a loose fitting brown zipper sweatshirt and threw it on. He hurriedly almost at a jog went outside through the front door that no one used, to his front steps. He looked around while zipping up his sweatshirt. No one seemed to be in their yards, which was understandable since it was early spring and it felt like 40 degrees out. He walked out to the street, His house was in a cul-de-sac at the end of very long strip of generic looking housing. Not a single person seemed to be outside. He walked over to his car, a blue 1992 Honda accord. A very generic 4 door car. He backed out of his drive way and sped up to about 40 mph down his 25mph street. He got to the end of it, and turned left onto a main road that other streets like his branched off of. He turned onto the next street on his left, and arrived at 19 Adam St. He parked badly at a 45 degree angle to the curb near the house. He walked quickly to the front door and knocked loudly on the door. He waited a few seconds then knocked again. After about 10 seconds of waiting and praying for an answer, no one came. Where the hell is everyone! He thought, Noah rarely swore out loud, because of the way he was raised. He learned to justify himself swearing was stupid anyway, it served no purpose but to let off steam that should be controlled anyway. He couldn’t help but swear out of frustration in his mind, since he is subjected to it so much every day at school. He tried opening the door, it was locked. He stepped off the steps of the house and let out a sigh of frustration.

“Heyyy” He heard someone calling. It sounded like a girl’s voice. He looked around and saw a brown haired girl, with a pink blouse and blue jeans waving to him. It was Chloe, the very attractive girl who moved next door to him a short while ago, but never got the nerve to talk to her. She was extremely attractive and seemed out of his league.

He looked at her strangely “Hey” he called back, but more quietly than she had.

They started walking towards each other; she had a worried expression on her face. She broke the silence “Hey, you’re the first person I’ve seen today” She said looking at him still with a worried expression on her face. “You’re Noah right?”

“Ya, I live next door, and you’re Chloe?” He said, he didn’t feel nervous because he had too much on his mind.

“Please tell me you know what’s going on” She said looking relieved to have finally come in contact with someone. “I woke up around 1, and no one was home, you seem to be the only other person around.”

“Ya same here, I woke up like 15 minutes ago, I have no idea what’s going on. No one is answering their phones.” He said looking around; knowing he probably wouldn’t find anyone but felt obligated. “Is there something happening today that no one told us about?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t want to stay here though, I have a bad feeling and this whole thing worries me.” She said looking around tentatively.

“We can take my car to town, maybe someone there will know what’s going on.” He said trying to keep his voice as calm as he could, even though he knew for sure something was up, and he also had a bad feeling about whatever this was.

They walked to his badly parked car; Noah’s face unwillingly turned red being embarrassed about how he parked his car, being around a cute girl made everything more embarrassing. “I just need to stop at my house and get my backpack.” He said as he turned right back onto his street. She didn’t say anything back and just looked out the window, with a zoned-out expression on her face.

“I’ll be right back.” He said and got out of the car and left it running. He considered that she might steal the car, after all it was suspicious that she was the only one around, and she just happened to wake up at the same time as him. There were too many things to consider, he just trusted her for some reason. He went upstairs to his closet and grabbed a black backpack and swung it over his shoulder. He brought this backpack just about everywhere he went; it had miscellaneous items in it, such as a pen and a notebook, and a map. He had no reason to bring it with him other than a feeling that put the thought in his head that he might want to bring it. He felt embarrassed thinking about it, there was no immediate need for it, they were just driving 5 minutes down the road, why would he need anything in it? The only thing in it that could be of any use was knife, but there was no one around to be a threat. He shrugged off the doubt and went back out to his car. He saw Chloe still looking out the window; she waved, and had a small smile of relief. He waved and smiled back, trying his best to stay calm enough that she might feel safe around him. He got in the car and threw the backpack in the backseat.

“What did you get that for?” She asked curiously.

“I’m not really sure…” He said awkwardly, he honestly didn’t have a clear answer.

“Ya…” she looked down at the knees. “I get feelings sometimes too”

“What do you mean”

“About 4 years ago, when I was 12, I had this horrible feeling involving my mom. I had no idea what it meant, it was like this pain in my stomache, a day later she died of a heart attack.” She said still eyes glued to her knees. “It’s happened other times too, just randomly ill have a feeling that I should do something, when I do it, it usually comes out to be worthwhile.”

He looked at her eyes which were avoiding contact with his. “I’m really sorry about your mom” He said trying to sound sympathetic, when really what he felt bad about was the expression of reminiscing sadness on Chloe’s face. His older brother died a couple years ago because of a disease he contracted in the jungles of Mexico. His brother impulsively decided he wanted to live a life of high adventure so he joined a team of explorers to search in the jungles for undiscovered plant and animal life. Noah didn’t cry at his funeral, they never got along, his older brother but he still felt like he should have cried. He just felt no desire to cry. He felt guilty for never crying. His mom seemed to never look at Noah quite the same either.

There was a silence, she looked up again and this time into Noah’s eyes. “We should probably start driving now”

He let out an embarrassed “oh” and clumsily shifted the car into drive and drove toward the end of the road, and took a left toward downtown Bridgestone. Bridgestone was a relatively small town in upstate New York.

They sat silently, both looking straight forward. “So what’s in that backpack anyway?” She asked him looking at it in the back seat.

“Nothing spectacular unfortunately, just a map, a notebook, a few snacks.” He said, wishing he could have had more to say.

She giggled “At least we won’t get lost…” She said trying to lighten the mood. He noted that she had a very cute voice and a very cute laugh, but that didn’t help his nervousness. Downtown was only a 5 minute drive down the street they were currently on, so it wasn’t going to be a long ride.

“So you just moved here at the beginning of this semester right?” Noah wanted to have some small talk to pass the time.

“Ya, my dad is crazy for wanting to move here in the middle of January, but he just couldn’t stand being in the house he shared so many memories of my mom in anymore.”

“It must have been pretty hard going through that”

“ya… it was…” She sighed. “He is doing fine now though,” She said, but then dropped her head seeming to remember the situation. “I hope.”

“It’ll be okay” He said, but couldn’t help but have a hint of doubt in his voice.

The downtown part of Bridgestone wasn’t anything special. It was a long strip of road with stores and restaurants lining it, it’s most notable quality was a small park. They didn’t see a single car on the road which was unusual; it was normally a well-traveled road. The town was coming into view, he noticed a Ferris wheel that was spinning in the distance, the faire was in town. “Did everyone go to the faire? And it’s not even spring yet why is there a fair?” Noah said looking intently at the Ferris wheel.

“I know, that does seem pretty weird. We should go there; the Ferris wheel is spinning which means there are people on it.” She said.

Chloe shivered and rubbed her hands against her arms. Showing she was obviously cold.

“Oh sorry” He said and turned the heat on in the car. He didn’t think to even though it was frigid out.

There were no cars on the road at all, except for the empty ones parked on the street, and there were no people to be seen on the sidewalks or in any of the stores that they could see. They neared where the faire entrance appeared to be. He pulled into the parking lot. Every space was full; it was a huge parking lot too. He began to wonder if after all, as unlikely as it is, everyone was here. It seemed possible at this point. He couldn’t find a parking spot, and there was a large wooden fence that blocked vision into the faire. It seemed that there were no people at all in sight. No one was walking to their cars to leave, and no one else was arriving to go in. A feeling of anxiety swelled in his stomach. He drove the car around the parking lot looking for a spot. He couldn’t find one so he drove toward what looked to be the entrance and ticket booth. He stopped the car in front of it and they got out. They slowly walked toward the booth; the rest of the faire was still out of sight. He looked in, the box was completely empty of people, and he saw a role of tickets that seemed to be untouched. He tried opening the wooden gate to the fair, but it was locked. He tried jumping to see if he could catch a glimpse on what was on the other side. “I can’t tell if anyone is there, but if no one’s around, no one’s gonna care if we go in. Noah knew Chloe was a pretty athletic girl, she was one of the best basketball players on the team, and she joined a few weeks after the season started. He knew she wouldn’t have trouble jumping the wooden fence. They grabbed hold of the top of the fence and jumped over, they got to the other side, and both looked around eyes wide with unbelief It became apparent where everyone had gone, and why the Ferris wheel was still running.

[roko]

Is this the "Young People" genre?

[Tekato Shimura]

hahaha could be, but im not entirely sure what you mean by it. its definately not a kids story. It needs a lot of revising as the writing might seem weak right now. Maybe you can clarify what young people genre is?

[srg3924]

I like it