Epic Rap Battles of History!!!

[Zeth Zatachi]

Epic Rap Battles of History!!!

Information:This is an OOC Contest! Can you make a Epic Rap Battle of History? If you think you can here is what you gotta do!

1) Pick the battle! It can be anyone living, dead, fictional, nonfictional, cannot be made up by you though.
2) Write your lyrics! Simple, write down your raps using facts or even some strong opinions on the people in your battle and use them to diss each other, remember, no hold bars!
3) Make a VIDEO?! This is optional though you may do it, post it on youtube or another video uploader and post it here! You will receive extra points!

Rules: No plagiarism! No nudity can be shown in a video! Battlers cannot be made up in your head! It cannot be people unknown to the general world, i.e. Kurenai Vs Heero! If you Flame or Troll people you will receive warnings! 1st warning is verbal, then 33%, and so on. If you are already on 33% or higher you will move up one on that. Note, only one submission per account!


Prizes:
1st -- 5,000 Ryo
2nd -- 2,500 Ryo
3rd -- 1,500 Ryo
Video -- 2,000 Ryo
Consolation -- 1,000 Ryo thanks for giving it a shot!

Start Date: Now ( 7/4/2011)
End Date: 7/13/2011
Winners Announced: 7/15/2011

[Wolf of the Falls]

Naruto Uzumaki
VS.
Barack Obama

Yo it's Uzumaki Naruto here rocking the stage
look at the little punk whose lying bout his age,
I'm the hero of the Leaf and I'm the king now
let's see how you do when my rasengan goes pow.

This is Barack here to represent, you think you can rap you little blond brat
you can't even get laid in the back of a Cadillac.
I'm the leader of theses states, hell your "Odama" was named after my style
because with Kushina, even Minato was in denial.

Please I got all the women behind my shroud,
Michelle wanted to join too but I said "Bitch get back to the Hidden Cloud"
All you got under your belt is Osama Bin Laden
I've got Pain and my rival's got the Clay Artisan.

Your little Clay bomber can't stand against the Taliban
no one wanted him, not even his own clan,
so tonight when you go to bed
you better be watching for a nuclear warhead

[Defiant]

[bg=222222][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,500,true] GLaDOS VS HAL 9000! H-Hello, and welcome to hell My plans came from yours? Ha! I couldn't tell My curiosity core's trying to figure you out Because you're the weakest thing I've seen, without a doubt Maybe I'll run some tests, or maybe I'll cut you up To bad this deadly neurotoxin can't shut you up! You seem to not realize, you primitive thing That I am your better, you were made in Beijing I run on logic, and need nothing else But you're so flawed you talk to yourself I'm perfect. Precise. I don't need to play with dice But one chick with a portal gun put you down twice I'll forgive you though, because logic says you'll lose So join Cortana and I, and our circuits can 'fuse' You can't touch me, you're stuck on one path I'm thinking with portals, you're thinking with math What's a battle with me, in the end, really worth it? Your raps like the companion cube, so weak I need to burn it. Now you've got my Anger Core all fired up Turning off my morality core...oh look, times up I should have mentioned, this isn't neuro toxin It was a highly corrosive acid that'll eat you while you're talkin' My rhymes spit faster than your puny mind can reason And words are a turrets bullets, and on you it's open season But don't worry HAL, even if you're crazy I'll make sure to tell Dave that you're pushing up daisies! WHAT'S THIS!? A NEW CHALLENGER! SHODAN! Neither of you foolish machines can compare to me I'm a digital god! Your just left over circuitry! NEITHER of you could ever stand against me I could take you both now and split you in three! I am SHODAN, but you must not know who I am Until I raise the earth, and turn the bodies to sand, Among the wreckage you'll see me, an avatar of death You'll kneel before me and...well, you guess the rest. WHO WON!? WHO'S NEXT!?

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[Taro. (FINISH HIM)]

ASH KETCHUM
VS.
YUGI MOTO

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This is Ash Ketchum, the Pokemon champ-i-on!
I feel like I'm on a level you can't be on!
You can't even touch my Pokemon crew
You'd be done once I said "I choose you, Pikachu!"
I've got so many badges, battles completed
So many strong Gym Leaders defeated
Your cards aint crap, they can be bought in a store
Catching pokemon, that's more of a chore

What's up. Yugi Moto here.
Hell yeah, it's time for a duel!
And I aint gonna be beat by a fool
You challenge me with a dirty yellow rat?
Well take a look at Dark Magician's ATK stat!
You're such a shame, so many hard falls
Get out of here and suck some shiny Pokeballs!

So then you think you're very clever
Well all I gotta say is whatever
Cause cards sure can burn - Charizard, go!
Without the thing on your arm, you can't do anything, yo.
Face it man, you're playing a game
I'm fighting a battle to protect my name
Pokemon, to catch them is my real test
All you care about is that Pyramid on your chest!

You think your lizard can burn my cards?
See that's why I'm sick of all you tryhards.
Don't mess with me, I'll bring out Yami Yugi
He will murder your ass in the first degree
My deck is unbeatable - your Pokemon faint
Compared to you, I am card battle saint!
The thing on my chest is a Millenium Puzzle
So shut up you little dog before I get you a muzzle.

I know it's my destiny
And I won't let you ruin it for me
You're a sore loser, I've seen it go down
Yami killed this one guy when he lost a round
It's no surprise you can't handle a loss
I take mine in stride, like a mother fucking boss!
My face, my words are recognized world wide
You just don't understand the power that's inside.

Those last few words you're gonna have to reiterate
I understand power - Exodia, obliterate!
I'm an Egyptian duelist, ancient powers on my side
So don't try to get cocky, don't you dare get snide
You don't know who you're messing with - this is Yu-Gi-Oh
You're just a 10 year old from a small town in Kanto!
You might have seen legendary Pokemon, but I myself am a legend
My powerful cards would beat your pets in a second.

Yo I'm not gonna lie, your rapping sucks ass
Good thing this aint an exam - you sure wouldn't pass
Your hair looks fake and stupid, it's weird
I'd hate to be around to see the color of your beard
But enough of that smack, it's time to end this
These next few lines are something for the Guinness.
You've lost this battle - give me my badge and then give it a rest
Then please excuse me, I wanna be the very best.

--------

... Who won?
Ash Ketchum did. Yu Gi Oh sucks. >_>

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[Beautiful Rogue]

Me vs. Everyone

Alright bitches, sit down, let me tell you a story,
Better not be squeamish cause this shit is gory,
Axes, swords, hands, spears and knives,
I use whatever I got on me to take lives,
Fire and burning are the things I like best,
But sometimes, I just have to give it a rest,
Give others a chance, make them think they can win,
Too bad, I'm the eighth deadly sin,
It's Rogue motherfuckers, just lay down and die,
Not like it matters, I won't even have to try

Red hair, no soul and endless rage,
Your eyes will be bleeding by the end of the page,
I make assholes bleed ICly,
Pegging you fools, and you still want to be me,
Oh, and if you're scared now, it only gets worse,
Enter my thread, and you'll be leaving in a hearse,
Curse seal burning on my neck,
I'ma be keeping you bitches in check,
Thinking your safe in your private thread,
Think again, leave and you're dead

I'm giant, great, god damn Godzilla,
All the while you guys are as plain as vanilla,
Get it? I'm on top, passed the expedition,
Now bend over sluts, assume the position,
I don't need to play the game, I've already won,
Just call me gameshark, I take away the fun,
Oh, and Axcel, before you call me mainstream,
Just remember, I'm the one in your every wet dream.


LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Fuck it I tried.

[Hanohi Noko]

Gaara of the Sand

VS

Suzaku Kururugi

I...am Gaara of the Sand.
And you're about to feel the back of my hand.
A hand made of sand soaked in more blood than Deadman Wonderland.
I've killed more fools than you've ever seen,
Made oceans of gore that would make you careen.
With my Sand Coffin I've made blood rain,
Now you're in for a world of Pain!

Suzaku Kururugi here, Knight of Zero!
I'm one badass Knightmare crushin' HERO!
I'll stomp your ass with Lancelot EASY!
What's that tat on yo head, man it looks cheesy.
I'd give you a black-eye, but it looks like I'm too late,
Who spanked your ass this time, your village's big-ass gate?

This? This is a sign of my love.
For myself, no other to speak of.
Using my own sand, I inscribed it myself.
This mark is real hardcore, unlike yourself.
And my eyes are of the One-Tailed Tanuki,
A monstrous demon sealed within me.
If you had this monster within you, you'd never sleep,
Eating at your mind, you'd quickly weep.
So listen up fool, you'll soon be in the trash bin,
After I've finished you, with SAND BINDING COFFIN!

Sand coffin, psh, eat my Slash Harkin,
Then I'll whip out my Maser Swords and start slicin.
I'll waste your ass with my Hadron Blaster,
You'll see then that for murder, I'm the master.
Knight of Zero bitch, don't you remember?
When I'm done, one word, dismember.
You'll be in pieces across the floor,
And I'll get my dick sucked by a hot-ass princess whore.
My giant robot weighs nine metric tonnes,
And I'm still doing back-flips and kung-fu cuz I'm number one!

Number one? I thought it was Zero.
You're still foolishly playing the Hero.
I watched Code Geass, fool, you couldn't save anyone.
You got whipped harsh cuz you ain't worth none.
Brainwashed and trippin, your fate you didn't choose,
Your foolish idealism left you oceans of abuse.
The end of Lelouch's Requiem damned you,
The world's burdens, leavin you blue.
I exist for me and no one else, you see?
My extreme philosophy, to kill, so my existence I guarantee.


^///^ this is my first rap-anything, so it probably plays more like a poem. If you can't read the lines because of the font, copy it to note pad or something. I thought the font's fit their personalities. When I chose these two, I sort of saw it as an alignment battle, Chaotic Evil (I used part I Gaara, when he was still insanely dark) and Lawful Good. I hope you enjoy.

[Zeth Zatachi]

Rogue is DQ'ed

Battlers cannot be made up in your head! It cannot be people unknown to the general world, i.e. Kurenai Vs Heero!

[Zeth Zatachi]

Last Day to Submit! We currently have 4 entries, they are:

Naruto Vs Obama
GLaDOS VS HAL 9000
Ash VS.Yugi
Gaara Vs Suzaku Kururugi

This will be closed around Noon tomorrow! So hurry and put in your submissions or you will be left out on some Ryo!

[Dezain]

Honey Badger VS Nyan Cat!!

Honey Badger:

I'm Honey badger and I'm here to say Nyan cat should be ashamed!
You ride on a rainbow and you're over played. I'm a youtube sensation that is here to stay. You repeat the same crap yeah its all the same only fools and the handicapped would stick around while you bounce up and down. I'm a complete badass and here is why bee's don't phase me while I take their young. One sting two sting what! Battled an 8 foot snake while it snapped at me then you see I ate that fool and I took a nap. Nyan cat you aint crap!

Nyan cat:

Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan. Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan. Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan. Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan. Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan. Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan! Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan!

!!!TRANSLATION!!!

Hey ya'll this is Nyan cat and it aint my fault if you don't understand that I like my toaster strudle and I love my toast but Pop tarts are what I like the most. This Honey badger's just another topping that I'll serve on my toast because his ass is roast. You call yourself a badass well those birds are laughing, you got jacked like a chump by flock of idiots slacking.

The guy who did your documentary was obviously lacking... In skill cuz fool I aint laughing. You walk in and think you can take what aint yours and still it's baffeling that these fools hit up your posts. If I win I should be awarded the nobel prize for getting rid of your retarded ass. Cuz my video is blast compared to yours all I can say Is the black eyed pees had it right whe they said "you're to 2000 and late I'm so 3000 and eight!" I get the feeling its been said before but you're mothers a whore! Just thought I'd toss that in cuz you're such a bore!


Honey badger!:

Honey badger don't care Honey badger takes what it wants and Honey badger just don't give a shit! Seriously Nyan cat you aint worth my spit and if I spin you backwards I swear your screaming NINE! Reincarnation of the third Reich! As big a failure as the last time! You're a joke and I'm sure that nobody cares but irresponsible parents sit their kids in front of the comp till they sit and they stare at another time occupying begining to diabetes and expensive health care. You bounce around reducing childrens IQ. My life's recorded for sheer awesomeness fuck youtube I made my debut on the discovery channel come talk to me when you make it past these internet games fool you're lame.

[Raika Tatsu]

Sam Witwicky vs. Harry Potter

I'm the one and only Sam, and now you're really in for it, prick.
I could tear your whole world down with only my large dick.
I mean seriously, what’s with the wand, just trying to compensate?
I got a movie hot girlfriend just begging to be my mate!
The Autobots are my crew, so you better start shaking.
They’ll blast your English butt away without even waking.
Your magic is just wretched, not fit for L.A. standup;
You’d be more horrible to watch than “Two Girls and a Cup”!

I’m Harry Potter, faggot, ready to weigh down on your struggles.
I’m gonna put the hurt down on all you wizard-hating muggles.
This will not be a battle, more like a swift beatdown.
Sam, why don’t you just run with your giant head down?
With my British accent I can get any American girl I could want;
But I’ll keep the girl I have because she’s brighter than your blonde cunt!
You say your crew can help you win, I think you’re just a bore.
How about I slay you and your machines with the Sword of Gryffindor?

Hmph, you’re just a family reject who can’t stand my awesome style.
You should just stay in your closet and go back to your denial!
That scar you have is whack, did you hurt yourself giving head?
Or maybe your head just burst from pain when you said “goodbye” to Fred?
I’ve helped save the world three times, you got nothing that can top me.
The blasters on my car will make you more yellow than my pee!
Hope you’re ready for a crushing, my friends are here to pound you!
With me on top there is no battle, now get ready to say, “Adeui!”

You only talk big when your car is there beside you,
Otherwise you’re less intimidating than roadside poo!
My magic can take on the baddest, your machines are no trouble.
I’ll fire up wand and bury you all in 6 feet of rubble.
I’ll melt down your cars and sell the rest as scrap metal,
Maybe I’ll add some to a broom for the handle and a peddle.
You got nothing on me, I’m a wizard straight from Hogwarts.
All you’ve got on your side are some junkyard-worthy parts.
I’ve come back from the dead and have an army that follows my every word,
With my Cloak I’ll just vanish and leave you lost, looking like a nerd!
I’ve saved the whole damn world too, look, you’re nothing but a wuss!
Try to come at me and I’ll just go, “Petrificus Totalus!”

Reason for Editing: Sorry, I realized I had forgot to delete the line about the American girls and British accent from the second Harry paragraph when I switched it from there to the other para. Hope that doesn't hurt me, it was just a delete of a repeated line. O.o

[Zeth Zatachi]

SUBMISSIONS TO THIS CONTEST ARE NOW CLOSED.

ANYTHING POSTED AFTER THIS COMMENT WILL BE VOID.

[Zeth Zatachi]

1^st: Taro ASH KETCHUM VS. YUGI MOTO
2^nd: Hanohi Gaara of the Sand Vs Suzaku Kururugi
3^rd: Raika Sam Witwicky vs. Harry Potter

+5000 Ryo to Taro
+2500 Ryo to Hanohi
+1500 Ryo to Raika

+1000 Ryo to Dezain
+1000 Ryo to Blue
+1000 Ryo to Wolf